Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Interactive Post - "Your Say On Big Families”

“Big families” seems to be a popular topic around blogosphere. Over the past couple of weeks I have collected some tidbits here and there of what you bloggers/tweeters have to say about “big families”. This post is all about you, none of these quotes are from me. If you have something more to add, feel free to leave a comment and I will add it to the post. (If you would like your name added to your quote, you can let me know and I’ll do that for you as well.)


"laughing at chassidish women with 10 children following behind them and over stuffed strollers"

"That mother with 10 kids? All her kids are in *matching* clothes! Now what happens when kid #1 outgrows his/her outfit? Does food stamps cover this???!?"

"so far I only have 2, but apparently that means I'm already "mass producing" as one friend put it!"

"we had our first 3 in under 3 years - i was called a baby machine..."

"Men who are married, have 12 kids and don't work or do the army. They already get enough of my money through taxes."

"On the one hand, I think it's too intrusive for the Rabbi or whatever to outright forbid them from having children. On the other, it seems unfair that people get to act irresponsibly and then put responsible people in the awkward position of having to fund their lifestyle or be considered immoral and unfeeling brutes"


"Ah ok so my family isn't chassidish at all, my dad is a pediatrician and I am the oldest of 11 BH. (Oh yeah my uncle is a radiologist in Queens he also has 10 kids BH--- and they did not come from such a big family, my dad was 1/6) While I'm not a huge fan of big families I really hate when people with small families judge us. It's true that the ones on food stamps shouldn't have their kids matching in fancy boro park clothing because chances are if the father's a rebbi and the kids look like that, they're not paying yeshiva tuition but somehow have $ for 'important' things like this (which is why the yeshivas are all in such financial messes). It's a ton of work to have a big family so they should be admired not scorned- but on the other hand if it's clearly hard on the mother I just don't get the point of going on like that, it's not a mitzvah to suck the life out of your wife. Oh another thing, these people who like making fun of big families are often using birth control without a proper heter so they really have no place passing judgment. It's a sensitive issue because it's weird for people to discuss others' 'family planning' but this is our religion and bearing children holds a key role. We were just talking on Shabbos- my sister who's 11 wants to become a veterinarian and it's not so simple because R' Moshe Feinstein paskined that it's assur to neuter pets... so if by animals it's this way you could imagine what it's like with humans. A better alternative should be a trend away from sitting and learning, perhaps if we were more 'torah im derech eretz' oriented we'd be able to afford larger families without government assistance and without the mother killing herself trying to work and raise a family all at once. Again there's no way of circumventing this piryah v'rivyah thing, I'd like to hear a rebuttal from someone who thinks they can"

"I like that I have a gigantic family, and love the reactions I get when I tell people that I'm one of ten children."

"A rabbi of mine was giving a lecture and told over the following anecdote. There was an irreligious Jewish woman who was very upset about the irresponsibility of her religious son-in-law who, at the time, was studying full-time, and had six kids and a wife with no way of supporting them. She wasn’t so upset about the fact that her daughter’s husband was studying full-time, but that there was no attempt at birth control. The young man complained to my rabbi that his mother-in-law was driving him crazy and was wondering if there was anything to be done to get her to stop complaining about the number of children he had. My rabbi told him to line up all six of his children for his mother-in-law next she came to visit, and ask her which one shouldn’t have been born. The man reported he never heard a word of complaint about his kids from her again."


Jewish Side of Babysitter said...


Recent blog:=- Interactive Post - "Your Say On Big Families”

Jessica said...

I love it how people think that they can have an opinion about how many children other people decide to have.

Recent blog:=- You Will Clear My Mind

lvnsm said...

I agree with what someone said about doing both learning and working. This way you support in both a spiritual and physical way.
In regards to number of children, that's the couple's choice, and also what is meant to be for them. Some people are meant to have 2 or 5 and some 10 or 12.

frum single female said...

its all well and good that people want to have alot of kids so long as i dont get to pay for them (i.e. taxes) . forget pru urvu . if you cant take care of them or support them thats child abuse.

Recent blog:=- her sister's keeper

lomantitos said...

I actually spent a substantial amount of time thinking about that "Duggar family" after you linked to those pictures (in fact I even have them as my background, ..but let's not go there). ..I mean, for mr. Duggar himself it's a great idea to have that size family if it's financially feasible for him, physically feasible for his wife, and psychologically feasible for them and the other siblings..

Recent blog:=- מהות חלל

lion of zion said...

"My rabbi told him to line up all six of his children for his mother-in-law next she came to visit, and ask her which one shouldn’t have been born."

imho the proper response would have been for the rav to instruct the man to get off his tuchus and get a job to support his family. some mussar about the importance of כבוד אם would have also been in order.


"I love it how people think that they can have an opinion about how many children other people decide to have."

i hate it how people think that they can have as many children as they decide to have and then leave me to pick up the tab (whether in terms of higher taxes or higher tuition)

Recent blog:=- Sick Bastards

someone said...

what about Yissachar Zevulun where someone learns and someone else supports and shares in their reward

Recent undefined:=-

Moshe said...

The first positive is really a negative. Why? Because all the negative talk about big families is about those that leave the finances to others and this was specifically addressed in that comment.

1. Yissachar and Zevulun was mutual and voluntary, not parasitic as it has recently become.
2. Yissachar didn't show up every other year at Zevulun's door with "Dude, I just had another kid so you gots to get me some more money cause the little sucker eats like you wouldn't believe."
3. This was 2 tribes out of 12.

Because of these parasites, we have to pay an ever increasing tuition. They get our taxes and then ask for even more money. They don't need to pay as much for food, or housing or school and are able to afford a lot more than us. Designer clothes, $900 strollers, summer vacations, etc.

Orthowatch said...

I agree with Lion of Zion. When someone comes to me to help them support their kids, I have a right to tell them how many to have. If they want to have that many, let them support them on their own.

Recent blog:=- Kollel system

auror said...

I am really not impressed with the Duggars. They turned their family into a business- by continuously going on talkshows they get more and more contributions... did you see how they 'broke' the news to the kids that Mommy was having their most recent kid (what was it, 19?) on tv? That really sickened me. I come from a large family and I know many large families in Brooklyn who don't need the publicity and recognition for having that many kids to keep them going psychologically (financially might not be such a bad idea to get them interviewed on tv lol).

auror said...

In response to the first positive/negative comment, do you agree that the issue with big families would be somewhat mitigated if people 'stooped' to living according to their means? It's possible to continue the large families trend if people are more realistic and prudent with their finances. How about the point raised about the expired heterim people use for birth control? Ah but at least they're paying their kids tuition- (you see there's no easy answer)

auror said...

Oh and I love the Yisachar-Zevulan argument you made- lol

Moshe said...

There's nothing wrong with having a big family as long as it's not at other people's expense.

As far as birth control. Gotta get some rabbis who actually know what it means to work and to depend on yourself for money.

Recent blog:=- MySQL - ON DUPLICATE KEY

Post a Comment

Click the "Subscribe" link to get e-mail follow up on comments.