S.H.A.L.O.M

Motzei Shabbos I went with SN to a great workshop by the S.H.A.L.O.M taskforce. It lasted over 4 hours, but yet was so interesting that time just flew by. I would recommend all engaged couples to go to this workshop. The government provides grants to them, enabling them to give the workshop for free. They only charge 25 dollars to register and get a book they put together.

The workshop started with everyone receiving a piece of paper titled “Island Survival Exercise”, where there are 25 things listed on the list, and you have to choose 10 that you think are important in order to survive on an island. Then you compare it with your significant other and see how many you have in common. Then for the one’s you have different you have to come up with a compromise and see which one’s you would both choose. This exercise showed how couples think alike. In addition, it helps you practice compromising, and learning more about how the other thinks.

Then there is something called The Daily Temperature Reading by Virginia Satir. Couples should set a side 15 minutes a day to talk to each other and do the DTR.

1. Appreciations
2. New Information
3. Puzzles
4. Complaints with Request for Change
5. Wishes, Hopes and Dreams

(See link above for more info. Or watch the video below)

DTR by Lori Gordon, Founder of PAIRS

Then there’s the Guide for Confiding about a Complaint. They give you a wheel, with key words to begin your complaint. While one is making their complaint, the other parrots what they say, to make sure they understand what is being said. (Ex: “I notice that you…” “You notice that I…”). Then only after the whole wheel has been gone through, can the other explain and clear things up. This helps for complaints that involve emotional feelings, and involve more than a “quick fix” technique.

Then there is the emotional jug. Where sometimes you can be having a bad day, little things keep happening and you remain calm through it all. Then one last thing happens and you burst and lash out on someone. So to prevent this from happening, you realize when your emotional jug starts building up, and you tell your significant other that you have to empty your emotional jug.

The listener will then ask “What are you Mad/Sad/Scared/Glad about?” and then at the end ask “If there’s anything else you would be mad about, what would it be?”. This seems like a strange question, but it really works. Since you are emptying your emotional jug, you might as well let it all out, so that you start fresh.

Yesterday I got to practice emptying my emotional jug, and SN was a great listener and I thank him again! I was in such a good mood afterwards, that I even wanted to make others happy.

This is just a fraction of what the workshop consisted of, for more information check out their site and register for a course!

“Journeys” Performance

Motzei Shabbos I went to a performance by Zichron Shlomo Refuah Fund. I’ve gone for a couple of years to their Chinese auction, and they’ve had small shows each time. This year was the first time that they had the performance part as a whole separate part, on a different day than the auction. I have to say I was truly impressed with the performance, it was excellent, and I can’t wait to buy the DVD when it comes out so that I can watch it again.

The storyline was a touching one with great lessons to be learned from it, and at the same time entertaining and satisfying. There were 15 scenes with 10 dances, all amazing songs. Most of them were by Abie Rotenberg, and some I have never heard before. There were 3 parts that I really liked. I can really give a review on the whole performance, but that would be too much. So I’ll stick to three.

----------------------------------------------------------

The Yeshivish Reid
Now this one was excellent. It started off as a tehillim group of a whole bunch of Lakewood woman, and they kept using Yeshivish language. Then one of the woman just moved to Lakewood, so it starts off a song and dance about Yeshivish language. These woman all of a sudden have white shirts, ties and black hates and they start singing:

To originate a language a new way to talk and speak
Is a most imposing challenge, a monumental feat!
It takes a special talent, it’s not for the faint of heart
And most are doomed to failure, before they even start

But in the hallowed halls, of Yeshivos far and wide
Our young men have discovered a new way to verbalize
With Yiddish, English, Hebrew it’s a mixture of all three
And a dash of Aramaic a linguistic potpourri

Chorus:
Yeshivish Reid Yeshiveish Shprach
Take, Eppes Grad’e A Gevaltige Zach
Yeshiveishe Reid Yeshivish Shprach
It’s the talk of the Town Mamesh tog und Nacht

What’s the chidush/your just hocking
Mon afshoch, it’s not to klor
That’s gaonus, what and einfal! I can hear it shtelt zach for
It’s a shayla, what’s’ the raya? The whole sugya is gor shver
The peula may be here but the chalois is over there!

It’s descriptive and precise, poonkt the language to be used
If you want to shteig in learnin or just to chap a shmooze
Adaraba, it’s essenntial it’s chashivus is immense
Why without the Gemora, would lechoira make no sense!

Now listen close yeshiva wives, it’s the shtoty thing to do
Be Marbitz this great language to all our fellow jews
Let me offer you an aitza that will end this serenade
Why not print a dictionary that translates

----------------------------------------------------------

The next part I really liked was called “Never take kids to a store”. Where this Yeshivish Lakewood mother was having a hard time with her kids, and she tells over a story of how she took her kids to the store and how they wanted more and more, and she didn’t know what to do, and bought it all for them, then an hour after they came home they said their bored.

The song is really cute, but it would be very long if I type it all up. But the part I was impressed by was that when this mother was talking with her friends about how hard it is raising her kids. The friend suggested she try parenting classes, and they spoke about it, how it can be good, and it doesn’t show your a failure. I was really happy about this, cause it gave over a good message to the audience, maybe now more parents will actually go to parenting classes!

----------------------------------------------------------

The last part I really liked was the ending “Wedding Dance”. It was a truly amazing dance, choreographed really well and a great way to end the performance!