Mazel Tov --- It’s a Boy!

On Shabbos my future sister in law had a baby boy! Sunday I went to the hospital to visit my future sister in law and baby, with SN and his other sister. It was my first time going to a hospital to visit a new born baby. My first time seeing a 25 hour old baby, and my first time holding a new born baby!

While we were in the room, a nurse comes to check the baby’s hearing. But since we were able to be there for a short time, we asked the nurse if we can hold the baby before she takes him for the hearing test. So she said “sure” and stayed with us while we took turns holding the baby.

After SN’s other sister held the baby, SN asked me if I wanted to hold the baby. Since I’ve never held one so young I was nervous to, so I let SN hold him first. Then SN commented how I’m “The Babysitter”. So then it was really funny, cause the nurse thought that I was going to be the baby’s babysitter! So she started teaching me how to take care of the baby. She showed me how to wrap the baby up tight in the receiving blanket, so that it’s easier to hold them. Then when it was time to wheel the baby away, she showed me how to put the baby back down into the basinet. After I put the baby down she congratulated me and said I did a great job.

I loved seeing the new born baby, he was so cute and tiny! We looked at every move he made and commented how cute he was. And I really felt it, it was so exciting. And I’m happy the nurse misunderstood us, and taught me how to take care of the baby. Now I feel more confident about holding little babies.

I’m Not A Medical Person

I’ve come to the realization that I am not a medical person. Previously, I had felt faint when my neighbor started telling me about difficulties in her pregnancy. Then other times I would get queasy from seeing people after they had surgery, or anything that made them look different.

Friday night, I was sitting outside and my neighbor comes out, I ask her how she’s feeling, since previously she’s been coughing a lot. Then she tells me a real shocker. At first I thought she said something about a lachter. Then she said she had a lump so she went to the doctor. The doctor said it was a benign tumor. When I heard this I felt faint, it was a good thing I was sitting already, but I wanted to rush into my house. I got really scared when I heard this, and to me it sounded like a big thing, I almost started crying.

But I couldn’t run into my house since my neighbor was talking to me, so I had to listen. So she was telling me how she went to her husband’s aunt that’s a doctor in a hospital in NJ. She told me how they treated her good because of that, that she was treated like gold, and that it was like a family visit. But to me it sounded like she was trying to make the situation sound better than it really is. As though she was covering up how scared she was, by telling me how nicely they treated her, and this made me more sad.

The whole Friday night I was tossing and turning in bed, and couldn’t fall asleep, cause I was really worried about her. I realized I’m not an adult in this way, and think like a child with an overactive imagination. As soon as I hear certain words I get really scared, even though she may be ok, to me it sounds worse.

One thing that really troubles me, is that she said she had the lump since February and just didn’t bother going to the doctor till now. Since she was pregnant and thought it might just be a fat deposit, cause that’s supposed to be a common thing. But I don’t get this, I’m not sure what goes on behind closed bedroom doors, but I would imagine the husband sees the wife? would he not realize that something is wrong with her? why didn’t he make her go to the doctor earlier? or did he not even notice it? She said she can’t get the tumor removed for a while, since she’s in her 6th month, and she’s going to wait till after she has the baby, and after she nurses it. She said the lump will grow bigger over time, but that it will be okay. I’m really scared about this.

As I was thinking about this all, I came to the realization of what I’m scared of. It’s not that I’m scared of special people, but rather I’m scared of the disease or illness that they have. Even after my own mother and sister had surgery, I got nauseous from looking at them, and it took a while for me to adjust to the yellow coloring of the antiseptic, or the swollen look of the face. So when I see sick people, I get scared because it pains me and I feel bad for what their going through. It’s because I don’t know anything about what their going through, and I don’t know how to deal with it.

My Hatzollah and Maimonides Experience

First off I feel bad for my dentist, I keep having “emergencies” by him, and I don’t want him to feel responsible for it. It puts pressure on him and might make him look bad. So I’d feel less guilty if no one blames the dentist.

So I went to get a cavity filled. I made sure to eat breakfast in the morning, cause I thought I was getting another wisdom tooth pulled. My dentist said something about a wisdom tooth, later I found out that he meant he had to fill it. So the dentist gave me the Novocain and waited the amount of time and then got to work. While he was drilling I felt pain, so I let him know, and he said “almost done”, he finished up, it hurt once more and that was the end of that.

Then I waited in the chair while they prepared a thing of mush to put in my mouth to make an impression. While I was waiting I started to feel nauseous. I had my mother waiting in the waiting room, if she would have been in the room with me, I would have spoken up then. But since she wasn’t there, I figured I’d let the lady do the impression, and I’ll manage the way I was. I started to feel really nauseous and was going to speak up. I was debating within myself if I should say anything, I was waiting for the lady who cleans teeth to come in, cause I like her, so I wanted to tell her that I didn’t feel well. I was going to ask the lady if she can wait a little bit more before she takes the impressions.

I didn’t say anything though, so the lady sticks the thing in my mouth, and I’m waiting for her to take it out already. She comments that I don’t look so well. So then I pointed to my head and I started to make noises. So she took the thing out, then I said I feel faint. Then all of a sudden my head goes blank, I can’t feel anything, and I feel as though I’m swimming and seeing stars. So they start leaning the seat back. But while they are doing this, I have the urge to throw up, so I shoot right up and spit out into the sink. Then they lay me down again, and keep me like that for like 10 minutes.

I start to feel better, and I start crying for making a fool of myself like that. So everyone comes into the room, the dentist, the lady who cleans teeth, and the helper lady, and my mother. They all start talking. My dentist jokes around that I keep falling for dentists, that if I were to go on a date with a dentist I’d start falling in the middle. Then the lady who cleans teeth was telling over a story about her daughter who was 15 and got an asthma attack which turned to an anxiety attack. Then she was saying how it was such a good thing the other lady was there to catch me.

Then they decide to pick up the chair slowly to see if I’ll be okay. But then as they pick it up to a sitting position I start to feel nauseous again. They ask me how I’m feeling and I said “so so”. So they keep me like that for a while. Meanwhile they were trying to get a hold of my doctor so that I could be checked out. But he wasn’t available. So my dentist decided to call hatzollah.

Within seconds Hatzallah came, and I started crying all over. I felt like a baby, but in my mind hatzallah is there for big things, so then this must be a big thing so it got me scared. They took my vital signs and blood pressure and all that, and I was fine. They decided I should go to the hospital to get checked out just in case. Better safe than sorry. So they brought a stretcher in, and as they put me on the stretcher, I recognize one of the Hatzallah guys, a neighbor of mine.

Then they were deciding which hospital to send me to. They asked me how old I am, I said 20. One guy asked if I want to go to a place with stars and pictures on the wall. I said “no”. Meanwhile my mother was on the phone with my father, and she asked him which hospital I should go to, my father said Maimonides. Then the dentist asked the hatzollah guy I know what hospital he would send his kids to, he said Maimonides. So then the dentist said “it’s settled”. But a different hatzollah guy said “that’s not a fair question”. So Maimonides was the one I went to.

Then when they brought me into the ambulance, I was so embarrassed. Now I know for sure that people don’t like when you look to see them go in an ambulance. So if you ever see a person being wheeled in, don’t look! Then one of the hatzallah guys came into the ambulance with me and my mother and he was talking to me. As my mother was climbing up into the ambulance to be with me she said “Now you have something to write about in your blog”. The Hatzollah guy overheard, but he didn’t say anything. But it was embarrassing. So now here I am writing about it.

Meanwhile my mouth was still numb from the shot, and I had white stuff on part of my mouth from the mush of the impression. So when he tried asking me questions, I couldn’t really speak. So then he asked if I’m always this spaced out. I didn’t say anything. But before we started driving, he told the driver to try to do one in every 3 bumps. Then when we were driving I realized what I meant, the ride was really bumpy, I think he went over every bump there was.

So meanwhile I got to see the back view of how it looks to be driving backwards, I recognized different buildings, it was cool. The Hatzollah man asked me a bunch of questions and kept smiling and making conversation, he was a really nice guy, and helped take care of everything. He asked if I ever fainted before, I told him that I did once a while ago, when I was in 7th grade. Happened to be it was at the same dentist office, after I got my braces tightened. There I had no shot, so it helped the dentist feel a bit better that it wasn’t his fault. I forgot to tell him that there were other times when I felt faint, one time in school, and another time when I was babysitting.

Then he asked me if I’ve ever been to a emergency room before, I told him that I had, but I hadn’t been conscience at that time, so then he went over the routine of what their going to do, so I should feel prepared. Then they wheeled me into this area where we were like “waiting on line”. Then this other guy sees me smiling, and he said “People who come in here shouldn’t be smiling”, so that made me laugh, so then he said “after your here long enough, you won’t be smiling anymore”. He was joking around, but that’s the sarcastic kind, where I never know what to say back.

Then this mean lady comes over with a thing and sticks me to take a blood sugar level. She asked me what I was eating, I said nothing. I told her I was at the dentist. Then she put something under my mouth, a thermometer maybe, and told me to bite down on it. Meanwhile this other lady was asking my mother questions, and my mother answered the wrong thing, so I wanted to correct her, so I tried to speak up, and this mean lady said to close my mouth and bite down. So I listened to her. Then after that the Hatzollah people left, afterwards my mother told me that the nice hatzollah guy knew me. I asked her how, and she said he was on call a different time when I had to go to the hospital, so he remembered me. I thought that was nice, then they all wished me “get well” and left.

Meanwhile, my father was coming over, and then he saw the hatzollah guy that lives in our neighborhood, so my father asked him since when is he a hatzollah, and he said that he joined a month ago.

Then I get wheeled into this section where there are beds with curtains between and no room for anyone to move, and the curtains kept moving back and forth. I didn’t want to see any of the patients, since I get queasy from these things, so I made sure not to look till the curtain was put in place. Then a different mean nurse comes over with bags and tells me to put my clothes in there. So I take off some clothes and put on the hospital gown. Then while we wait for the doctor to come in, I got to hear the patient next to me speak to her doctor about her problem, and what the doctor had to say about it.

It got me thinking that all doctors tend to talk to same way, in a informative way, that’s soothing that makes you think they know what they’re talking about, and in a way it sounds like how a parent talks to a child. So then this lady doctor comes in, asks questions about what happened and told me they’re going to do some tests.

So they take this KEG test, I think that’s what it’s called, I already forgot, where they put these snap looking things on you, and then it monitors the heart. Then she asked me to go to the bathroom for a test, then as I’m walking in the hallway, I see someone I know. A guy from college, that was in my Jewish class, he sees me and says hello and waves. So I said hello back, but I felt so embarrassed for him to see me that way, so helpless looking in a hospital gown. He was wearing some badge or something, so maybe he does bikur cholim, I’m not sure.

So all the tests came back good, and after a while they said I could go, and gave me discharge papers. So I got back dressed and left. My brother drove us all back home, and now here I am at my computer. They said I should go for a follow up appointment at the doctor in 72 hours, and that I shouldn’t fast tannis esther. So they don’t know why I fainted, but it could be because of Shots and dentists in general. So the doctor said that in the future when I go to the dentist they should know that I’m prone to this and will be patient with me. That I shouldn’t rush to get up after they do work.

My father suggested I drink more, that it could be I got dehydrated. I know last time I fainted, I hadn’t eaten breakfast. But this time I ate, so it can’t be because of that. But I probably needed more water in me.