Jewish Song Sunday --- #6

Miami 25: Rachem

So I’m not going to write a post about what happened in India, but at the same time I won’t ignore it and put up a joyful song. This song Rachem sung by Mordechai Shapiro and Yaakov Shwecky expresses how I feel right now about what has happened. We really need Hashem’s Rachmanus, He is the one in charge and we are in His hands. Mordechai Shapiro sings this song with such great emotion that it makes you cry along and truly feel the words he is saying.

Lyrics:

Rachem. Rachem N0 Hashem Elokeinu.
(Have Mercy Hashem our G0d)

Rachem al Yisrael Amecha, Rachem
(On Israel Your people)

Ve'al Yerushalayim Ir-echa
(On Jerusalem Your city)

Rachem, Rachem, Rachem

Al tzion mishkan kevodecha
(And on Zion, where your glory)

Ve'al malchut beit David meshichecha
(And on the kingdom's house David, your anointed)

Ve'al habayit ha'gadol ve'hakadosh
(And your great and holy Temple)

Rachem, Rachem, Rachem

Rachem at Miami 25

Some Technical Information:
For those that want to download the video into avi or mpeg then you can download Save 2 Pc.
If you want to download just the music from the video then you can do that at Vid 2 MP3.

Parshas Toldos

First off I realized I do have a thanksgiving post after all.

The Parsha of twins. When I was younger I had thought that in every twin relationship there is a Yaakov and Eisav. So I think that’s what motivated me to be a good person, so that I will be the “Yaakov” of the two. It’s actually funny when I babysat the triplets, the mother would always tell her son that he should behave like Yaakov. Kind of giving the image that Yaakov is the good guy, and Eisav the bad guy.

I used to think that it’s all in the parenting, that if you raise good children, then your children will be good. But here is an example, where both Yitzchak and Rivka were good parents, and yet they had an Eisav. But apparently there are different ways to raise each child, that each one is unique. Like how Yitzchok blessed each of his children differently.

From Something to Say:

And the children agitated within her [Rebecca] (25:22)

Rashi tells us that when Rebecca passed in front of the Yeshiva of Shem and Eber, Jacob would kick inside her, and when she passed in front of temples of idol worship, Esau struggled to come out. The commentaries ask: “We can well understand why Esau wanted to go out to indulge in idolatry. But Jacob, who loved Torah study, had every reason to remain in his mother’s womb. Chazal teach us that during the time that a baby is inside hit’s mother, an angel is teaching it Torah. In that case, why would Jacob want to leave? Rabbi Ovadiah Yosef answers that Jacob wanted to learn the Torah through his own toil and effort. He knew that being me value or permanence as acquiring with it the same value or permanence as acquiring it with one’s own effort.

I thought this was a great explanation to why Yaakov wanted to leave his mothers womb when they passed by the Yeshiva of Shem VaEver. It shows that there is an importance to earning your reward, and how you appreciate it more because you put in effort and worked for it.

Ayin Hora

Apparently there really is such a thing as an Ayin Hara-Evil eye. I have never been one to say “bli ayin hora” or “em yirtza Hashem” and other such lines. Now after what happened though, I realize what power an Ayin Hora can have.

It was pre midterm days, and I was saying how I have to study, no matter how much or how little I studied I was confident that I would do well. I would say “I never failed before” So I’m for sure not going to fail this time, I’m not worried about failing, I’m worried about getting a good mark. Little did I know I had opened my mouth to the satan, and lo and behold, I failed! Now with the first midterm, I thought to myself, it’s not because I made an ayin hora, it’s only because of my negligence, and since I was able to get that situation fixed, I wasn’t worried and felt in control again.

Then what happens, time for the next midterm, and lo and behold I fail again! Now I’m thinking to myself, something must be fishy, this doesn’t make sense. Then I remember those words I had said, that made an ayin hora. Now I still feel as though I deserved the failing mark. I learned my lesson not to take classes with friends. They seem to know all the tricks, so they kept saying, it’s such an easy class, your guaranteed a 100. So the whole time they never showed up to class, then they came the class before the test, where the professor handed out a practice test which would be the same exact test as the midterm, except different numbers.

In the beginning of the class, I would pay attention, but then after hearing, that the midterm is on one section which he gives out the test before, I stopped listening in class. I would do other stuff for my other class. So I truly felt like I knew nothing for the test. So the day before the test, I studied the practice exam, and I knew most of it, I just haven’t studied it that well. Then I had to go babysitting, and that interrupted my studying, I figured I would get to continue afterwards, but then my friend got engaged, and I was too excited to study. The next morning, I studied some more, I felt like I basically knew it. But then when it came to the test, I got stuck in the beginning, gave up, and played a guessing game. I figured if I’m supposed to do well then Hashem will help me pick the right answers. At least that was my only hope at that point.

So my professor posted the grades, and he did it by social security number, in alphabetical order, so I guess these classmates had figured out my last 4 digits of my social, cause when I came to class today, they said to me “What happened?” “Why did you do so bad?” they said this pityingly to me. I was not expecting them to know how I did, so I hadn’t prepared an answer for them. What was I going to say? That I failed on purpose because I didn’t think I deserved an easy 100? That I failed because I didn’t want to be stereotyped as smart? That I failed because I went babysitting? Then a guy says, you were sitting right next to me, you should have told me you didn’t know it, and I would have given you my booklet for you to copy. I’m like gee thanks, you really expect me to cheat? But I didn’t say that.

(O, and it’s not because I was busy blogging commenting, because if you notice I’m really behind in that. I think it’s the opposite, if I would have been on top of commenting, then I would have put the same energy into my school work.)

So I was a little upset about all this, and I was getting depressed. My professor said we can’t do any extra work to make up our grade. He said 23 out of 39 people in the class got A’s. And 13 out of 39 got 100. Now I really felt stupid. 5 people failed, and I was one of them. But it was an enlightening experience, I needed this to happen to me, so I can know what it feels like to fail, and have everyone else bragging about their easy 100’s. But at least I still have hope, the final is my last chance, I need to get a 100 on that to get a decent mark.

Then Hashem did a Chesed, He saved the good news for last, so that I will remain happy for the rest of the day. When I went to the next class, I got back my Jewish test and I got a 98!. Now everyone else had done poorly, and because I remembered what it was like to be the failing one, I knew not to brag about my mark, and to feel more for them, so that they shouldn’t feel uncomfortable. When a guy asked me what I got, he asked if I got a 100, I said no, then he tried guessing, every time I said no, because I knew he said he did poorly, and I didn’t want him to feel bad about his mark, when he knew that I did well.

Jewish Song Sunday --- #5

Sheves Achim: Superman

It looks like the recent theme is Kollel. The singers Shimon and Moshe Bell are two brothers with amazing voices. They can go really high so that if you didn’t know better you would think it’s a girl singing! They have a lot of great songs, but most of them are in Hebrew, so I picked the one song that was in English. If you look at the lyrics, it has a nice message. I found out about this CD through one of Ari Goldwag’s Jewish music podcasts. He helped them out with this CD.

Lyrics:

The little boy grew up with dreams of flying through the sky
He’d be like Superman, watching clouds go by.
There-someone in distress, swoop down and save the day.
”Just wait ‘till I grow up.” he thought, “then I’ll have my way.”
He wished he could wear glasses, protect his identity.
So what if without them he could see perfectly.
Sitting reading comic books, his thoughts would travel far.
Little did he know, one day, he’d truly reach the stars.

Chorus
If we set our sights high, and in ourselves believe,
There truly is no limit to what we can achieve.
When we look to Hashem for help, then we can recognize,
How his hand is guiding us each moment of our lives.

The little boy grew older, developed into a young man,
Discovered words of Torah helped his world to expand.
This time a friend in need, a depth in Torah he’d explain.
Slowly he matured, his goals no longer were the same.
He started wearing glasses, helped him gain clarity,
In the words of the Gemara, they became his melody.
He’s learning in a Kollel now, in the Holy Land,
With his wife and family, now he’s their Superman.

Chorus

Parshas Chaya Sara

I don’t really have time to go through blogs to find Parsha posts to link up to them, like I did last time. Maybe I’ll edit the post and put them in after.

So I already spoke about what it means for the wife to inspire her husband. Then I was reading what R’ Feinhandler had to say about this weeks parsha, and I found he dealt with the same topic. He also supported what I have said in comments, about not pushing off a wedding because you can’t afford it.

My Spouse is Just Who I Need for My Spiritual Growth

Another possible reason why it was necessary for Eliezer to arrive so quickly, through a miracle rather than through the normal seventeen day journey, could be that the Torah is teaching us that when it comes to a shidduch, no time should be wasted. Even though a shidduch comes from Heaven, the Talmud says that someone else can take your shidduch away by begging for mercy from G-d. Thus the Torah may be teaching us this lesson through the miracle so that we will know that a leisurely or ambivalent attitude is not appropriate when looking for a shidduch.

Once a person sees that he has found "the chosen one," he must be quick to act and complete the mitzvah. A person is not allowed to be lazy in mitzvos, and marriage is a very important mitzvah. Since there is a danger of such a terrible loss, it is necessary to act as quickly as possible. That is the reason the poskim allow a couple to become engaged even on Tisha B'Av.

In Rivka and Yitzhak's marriage we see clearly the principle that G-d controls every shidduch. On the superficial level the marriage between Yitzhak and Rivka would appear natural and normal, but in reality everything, down to the smallest detail, was manipulated by G-d. That is the reason why Eliezer found Rivkah at the well just when he arrived. It is to teach us that every shidduch is from Heaven and that G-d takes care of every detail to make certain that the shidduch is successful.

If a person will reflect on how he came to marry his spouse, he will find that everything was arranged by Heaven. The circumstances were carefully set up by Heaven so that this man was able to marry this woman, and that this woman was able to marry this man.

The miracles that Eliezer experienced were also the reason why Rivkah agreed immediately to the shidduch. It was clear to her that all these miracles were signs from Heaven that Eliezer was sent by G-d, and therefore she accepted the inevitability of her marriage to Yitzchak.

Every single marriage is from Heaven. Forty days before a fetus is formed it is announced in Heaven who that child will eventually marry. 6 If you have entered into a marriage, it is a sign from Heaven that this marriage can and should succeed. There are rare instances in which one has chosen one's spouse wrongly, based on mistaken considerations. If the situation seems truly impossible to live with, it is important to seek qualified advice from a sensitive source-person, i.e. an experienced rabbi or religious counselor.

Since in our generation belief in G-d has been weakened, people believe instead in their own strength and power. The result is that the institution of marriage also has been weakened. This is because a person who relies solely on his own abilities will see some challenges in his marriage as being too great for him. Such a person will choose to end a marriage rather than tackle problems which he considers to be too difficult.

But a person who perceives that the Almighty arranged the union will know that nearly all difficulties are eventually resolvable. In fact, he'll know that these specific difficulties were selected by G-d for his own spiritual growth. Therefore, what is needed is for a person to focus on the truth that his spouse is exactly who he needs for his spiritual and emotional growth and well-being.

Once a person realizes that his spouse is truly chosen by Heaven, then he will have the strength to overcome any difficulties that arise. G-d does not give us a trial that we cannot overcome. We must make every possible effort to solve any problem that arises, and find peace and love with the shidduch that was chosen for us by Heaven. The more we strengthen our belief in G-d, the more we will be able to find ways to make our marriages stronger.

High School Memories and Kollel

When I was in High School I shared pretty much the same opinion as most of the bloggers here. I was totally against Kollel and the thought of Kollel disgusted me. I couldn’t understand how these people chose to live in poverty. My views were mostly influenced by my brother who was adamantly against Kollel. He was against the Kollel people being off the books and stealing money from the government by getting food stamps and all kinds of government help.

He told me a story of how there was a daughter that went to one of the schools that advocated marrying a kollel guy, and she did just that, then when it was time to enroll her daughter in a school, she figured she would send her daughter to the school she went to. So she applied, but then unfortunately she didn’t have enough money to pay for tuition, so she told the school she can’t afford to pay all of it. They said sorry, but we can’t help you with that. So he was telling me how it was hypocrisy, the same people that told her to live a kollel life, weren’t going to accept her daughter because she didn’t have money. So I was naturally appalled by this story.

My brother was also very pro college, so it made it very easy for me to go against my school and apply to a cuny college. My teacher took it upon herself to call me out of class every week since she found out I was going to college, and tried to convince me not to go. She said I was going to start believing that abortion is okay, and that people being gay is okay. I looked at her thinking that’s crazy, I would never believe that stuff. It came to a point where I couldn’t stand being the middle person, I felt like I was the child of divorced parents, where both sides tried to get you to side with them. At first also, I wasn’t going to go to seminary, I thought it was going to be like 13th grade. So I finally said I will check out a seminary, I found one that had a college program too, so I told her I’m applying to there. At first the seminary closed down, so then I felt helpless, but then it opened back up again. So it all worked out, my teacher thought that I was going to be going to the seminary's college program and didn’t realize that I was only going to the seminary part, and was still going to go to the cuny college.

My good friend actually enjoyed drawing sketches of my life, So I’ll put up some illustrations.

My teachers would always talk about the importance of being a yarei Shamayim, and the importance of learning. I just never understood all of it, and it went over my head, and I wished they talked about more practical stuff. I got annoyed at hearing about learning.

In High school, I was one of the few with internet. I was brought up on it since I was a kid, so I knew how to work the computer and browse the web. I would print out funny e-mails I got and bring it in to class, and my classmates all loved it, during class it got passed up and down the rows for everyone to look at. They would look forward to the things I brought in. I had a collection in my loose-leaf of them. Then when it was time for tests, especially literature tests, I would go to spark notes or some other website and get multiple choice questions on tom sawyer or whatever book we were having a test on, and surprisingly the teachers questions on her test were the same ones! so everyone was thankful to me for bring it in. Come to think of it, I was able to do so much chessed because I had internet. Girls would come to my house to use my computer, to check out aish’s website, or to check their e-mails for important e-mails from organizations, and all kinds of stuff.

In seminary, I went to a more open one, that was very different from my HS, and gave me the perfect balance, and it was exactly what I needed. It showed me a love for being Jewish, and gave great logic based classes which I truly enjoyed. For the first time in my life I realized that so many things which I thought were Halachos were actually chumras, and it was very comforting to find out there’s a distinction between the two. Then somehow my views changed, and I started appreciating what learning is, and better understood what it means to be a yaarei shamayim. 

So now getting back to Kollel, I understand the joy in learning, of finding a chiddush, and finally understanding something. I always loved learning Chumash, it was my favorite subject, with all the Rashi’s and different meforshim, with questions and answers and arguments. I always felt so proud when I was able to figure out Rashi’s question and answer’s and to fit the whole puzzle together so that it made sense. I loved hearing the teacher say “Excellent” to what I said. It felt good when teachers quoted me when I had the right answer. Of course there were times when I was wrong too, but I never let that stop me from guessing.

So anyways, I realized how much joy learning could be, and I understood why men would want to join Kollel for that reason. Imagine being able to fill your mind with so much knowledge a whole day, to learn so much. To figure things out and become enlightened as to how you are supposed to be living your life.

Of course I acknowledge that not everyone can get the same joy out of it, and not everyone can truly appreciate what it is to learn and how it puts you on a high. Some can’t follow along so well, and their brain doesn’t allow them to grasp the material so easily. So for them of course they wouldn’t belong in a Kollel.

I of course still don’t plan on marrying a guy who will only sit and learn and not work, I believe it’s a man’s job to make parnassah and support his family. But yet, because I understand the value of learning and why men would want to choose that way, I would support them, and give tzedaka to help them. I feel that these 2 paths are really connected, there is allowed to be both and both are good, after all there was a yissaschar and zevulan relationship. I used to always use that argument to be for working and against Kollel. But now I’m going to twist it, and say that the working is for the sake of the learning. The main goal is the learning.

As it is, I think the people who do join Kollel, only do it for a short few years after they get married, and then they go to work. My neighbor actually pointed out a pro to this, he said why would you want your husband to be working with immodestly dressed woman during your shana rishonah. So this way when their learning that first year, their mind is on higher things, and their not distracted by what’s out there, and they will be more faithful.

So I don’t think it’s a problem if a man wants to learn in Kollel for a short few years after he gets married, if afterwards he plans to work and support his family. So it won’t be a continuing chain of him leeching. For those that want to spend their whole life in Kollel, they should truly enjoy it, and not just want to sit and schmooze with friends and take coffee breaks all the time. If they are truly into it, then I look up to it as a great thing, and who knows they may become the next gadol hador.

HP Tuesday --- #3

Last week Monday I had a midterm which for some reason I totally forgot about. I realized too late that I was having a midterm, and had one hour to study, so of course I did poorly on the exam, but yet was still surprised to see that I failed. I couldn’t believe it, after all I had never failed before. But yet in a way I was comforted that I had gotten a low mark, rather than getting a passing bad mark.

After taking the test, I heard everyone talking about how hard and tricky it was, so I was thinking to myself, perhaps it’s a good thing I haven’t gotten a chance to study after all, cause why waste my energy if I was going to do poorly anyways.

Then yesterday I went over to the professor, and asked her if there was a way for me to makeup the points since I did very poorly because I had forgotten about the test. So she told me that if one were to get a 40 on the first test, and then 80’s on the next 2, then obviously something went wrong with the first one, and she will only count the next 2. I told her Thank You and left feeling happy.

See I knew it was a good thing to fail, cause then on the next 2 I can only do better. Since I know what kind of tricky tests she gives, I know to study harder for the next ones, and will hopefully be able to do well on those, so it all works out! Hashem is on my side!