Previously I had written about how Stealing equals kefira. Now we will look at how Anger equals kefira.
Midah means characteristic and measurement. We are supposed to have a certain measure of each characteristic whether seemingly “good” or “bad”. There are only 2 characteristics that have no upside, and they are jealousy and arrogance.
The only way we can possess anger is if we don’t really feel angry inside. When trying to teach a child or congregation, we may appear angry on the outside. The way we are able to do this is because so long as we don’t feel angry on the inside then it’s not real anger. The child will be able to tell that the parent still loves him in the inside, and he will improve.
When a person is angry, what is the classic line they say? “You make me so mad!”. A person whose angry has lost control, they are allowing the other person to control their emotions.
People choose anger for 3 reasons:
- To avoid intimacy – “into me see” - with themselves. They are blaming everyone else.
- To avoid a relationship with others. Tochacha comes from the word clarify, a person should ask others to explain themselves, calmly. When giving Tochacha you can’t be angry, or else it is pointless. Since the child will just see the anger, and will be afraid to do wrong because “Totty gets angry” rather than because it’s wrong.
- To avoid honest relationship with Hashem. They are in essence telling Hashem that things should be run differently.
Kefira is denial, when a person complains about another tzelom elokim they are saying Hashem didn’t do right. Their not noticing that Hashem runs this world and is only good.
Adam complained about Chava, he denied the good in her and was a Kofer. The Meraglim complained about Eretz yisroel and Bnei Yisroel got punished for it with 40 years in the midbar. Complaining is in essence a denial of Hashem, and therefore Hashem punishes for it. Anger is the present day Avoda Zaara, a person is loosing control of themselves, and denying the good in others.
Hashem wants us to change and improve ourselves, so He sends us challenges, with difficult people. If we don’t succeed with one difficult person, then Hashem gives us another chance and sends us another difficult person.
Every morning we wake up because Hashem hasn’t given up on us, so we can change. When we complain we prevent the shefa of Brachos Hashem has for us. So we have to be in control of our anger and realize that everything Hashem does is good, and then we can receive the abundance of good Hashem has in stored for us.
FYI: These shiurim are part of the Irgun Shiurai Torah program. If you look to your left you will see the schedule posted onto the sidebar, click the image to expand