Parshas Re’eh

Something to say:

And [God[ will give you rest from all your enemies all around, and you will dwell securely (12:10).

The Gelilei Zehav comments that while these two phrases, referring to rest from one’s enemies and security, may appear redundant, in truth they are not. Resting from one’s enemies, rather than being synonymous with dwelling in safety, is a result of the latter. If we dwell securely, harmoniously, and respectfully with our fellow Jews, we will have nothing to fear from the enemies around us. Our sages tell us that if t he Jewish nation would live in harmony, no other nation could rise against us.

Parshas Devorim

I have always believed that if someone does something wrong towards you, you shouldn’t do wrong to them too. “Two wrongs don’t make a right”. A person is not excused for harming another since the other harmed them first. That is Nekama, revenge. We are supposed to be compassionate people, and not want to harm others.

Something to say:

Hashem our God, gave into our hands also Og, king of Bashan (3:3).

After forty years in the Wilderness, the Jews had begun the conquest of Eretz Yisrael, beginning with the kingdoms of Sichon and Og. The Midrash Rabbah relates that Og, the king of Bashan, the infamous and evil giant who hated the Jews, once uprooted a mountain with his mighty hands and heaved it over the Jewish nation in an attempt to crush them. Moses uttered the secret Name of God and was miraculously able to suspend the mountain in midair, so that no one was hurt. After this, the Jews proclaimed, “Cursed are the hands that threw this mountain”; and the Emorites declared, “Blessed are the hands that held it up.”

The Sefer Ta’am Voda’as finds it puzzling that the Emorites blessed the Children of Israel and the hands of Moses; they were enemies of the Jews and despised them. He answers that Moses’ great level of Kindness mad ea tremendous impression on the Emorites. The cruelty of Og, who sought to destroy the Jewish people in one fell swoop, was obvious; he showed no mercy whatsoever. Moshes, with the strength that God gave him, could easily have responded measure for measure and thrown the mountain at the Emorites, but he did no such thing. He merely suspended the mountain to prevent it from falling on the Jews.

This Midrash teaches us that the Jewish people are unique in their innate quality of compassion. We are called merciful ones, the children of merciful ones. For this reason the Emorites blessed the hands of Moses- because he held the mountain in place.

So next time someone does something bad towards us and we want to give them “a taste of their own medicine”, think about how the person will get hurt. Think about how we are compassionate people and don’t want to hurt others. So we should only treat people right, with care and compassion.

Parshas Shemini

In the year 2009 I ended off with Parshas Tzav, now I will continue posting about the Parshas, starting with Parshas Shemini, this weeks Parsha.

We are always taught not to judge a book by it’s cover. That the outside can be deceiving and it’s the inside that counts. That beauty comes from the inside, not the superficial outside.

Something To Say:

Any earthenware utensil into whose interior one of them will fall, everything in it shall become contaminated (11:33).

An earthenware vessel can be rendered tamei, ritually contaminated, only from its inside, even from its air space, without being touched. However, even if it is touched on the outside, it cannot be rendered impure. Commentators explain that it can never become impure by being touched on the outside because it has no value in and of itself. The vessel is only valuable as a container for the objects within it; its sole worth is a receptacle for something else.

Along the same lines, the Kotzker Rebbe said, “Man is like an earthenware vessel. His worth lies not in the outer vessel, but in the human qualities developed within.”

Just like a container has no value on it’s own, only to hold things inside of it. A person has a guf to hold the Neshama in. We praise a person if they are a good person on the inside, rather than if they have a good physical attribute. A person who wins a medal in the Olympics may be looked upon by others as a great person. But then if you were to see one of them start acting in a bad way it changes the way you look at them, and you realize that the way a person acts on the inside is what makes them really great.

Another way of looking at a container is to realize that a container can only function if it is complete and whole. Once there is a hole in a container than it can no longer hold anything in it. A container can then be compared to Middos, characteristics of a person. Where a person needs good Middos to be able to do other Mitzvos.

For the first time, I have so far been counting Sefira every night. During Sefira we are working on our Middos, So that we can be ready for Shvous, where we get the Torah.

Introducing SN

SN stands for Super Nice, because that’s what my Chosson is. From now on I’ll refer to him as SN. B”H SN encourages my blogging, so I won’t be disappearing.

Wednesday night we had a beautiful vort, and I got introduced to so many people. They all of course had such good things to say about SN. I tried to speak to everyone who came for at least a few minutes. SN’s sisters were great at introducing me to everyone.

Then one time I was going over to a few ladies and they said Mazel Tov and all. Then one of them asks me if I went to a certain HS and I said yes. Then another commented that she taught there, and I looked closer at her and realized that she was one of my HS teachers. She wasn’t wearing glasses so I hadn’t recognized her right away. I remember she taught me Navi and I hadn’t particularly liked that subject nor was I good at it, so I guess it’s a good thing she didn’t remember me either!

My Kindergarten teacher on the other hand I remembered, and she remembered me. She’s going to become my cousin! She brought over a picture of me and my twin brother when we were 3 years old and she was our counselor in day camp. I was so happy to see that picture, I love looking back at little kid pictures.

SN was great at arranging everything, he comes up with all the great ideas. To have our wedding on Rosh Chodesh so we don’t have to fast. To have music by the vort so that it’s more lively, and people can dance. I was smiling looking at the video of SN and my father dancing together.

There’s so much for me to learn from SN. He started to introduce me to new foods. I drank Snapple for the first time, and it wasn’t so bad. Though I hear I have to taste the kiwi strawberry one. I had a Caesar salad for the first time, and I actually liked it. Speaking of firsts, I wore real heals for the first time, Thanks to Auror, so now I can cross that off my list.

SN’s also Super Nice in that he shows lots of Hakaras Hatov to people. He called up the florist, band, bakery, Jeweler, and all those involved, to thank them and tell them how happy we were with what he got from them. I think that’s an amazing thing, and something I’d want to take upon myself to try to do also.

We got so many gifts, from so many people, it was really nice. I can’t wait to write the Thank You cards!

I haven’t written any Hashgacha Pratis stories in a while, so here’s one. At the end of the vort my aunt told me to take a look at one of the gifts from some cousins in Israel to see what they gave. So we opened the bag, and inside we found the gift. But in addition to that we found a set of keys. By mistake the keys to the apartment where they were staying had fallen into the bag. So it was a good thing my aunt told me to take a look at what they gave, so that we found the keys and she was able to take it with her and return them.

Another thing I haven’t written about in a long time is the parsha. I had stopped in middle of the year so that I can continue from that point in the next year. But I love reading about the parsha, and learning from the chumash. So I was very happy to find out that SN’s brother writes up a weekly e-mail with divrei torah on the parsha.

Over Shabbos it was nice to hear people telling me that they had a great time at the vort, and that they were happy meeting SN.

Eating In Public

Thanks to @MarkSoFla and @hsabomilner for reminding me of this one.

My 5 year old neighbor stops me

You wanted me to make it Assur, well according to some eating in the streets is Assur! One day I had left my house while eating an ices, and I planned on walking to the store and finishing the ices on the way, and then put the wrapper in a garbage can on the way. But then as I walked down my block… my 5 year old neighbor stops me and says “Jewish Side, what are you doing?” while looking at the ices I was eating. So then I said that I’m going to take a walk to the store. So then she tells me that I should finish my ices now. “Jewish Side, you shouldn’t eat in the streets”. So then she reads me face and says, “But you can do what you want, I’m not telling you what to do”.

When the kid told me not to eat in the street. I didn’t want to be “rebellious” and teach her something wrong from what she was taught. So I finished eating the ices there, and then continued on.

But I do remember in elementary school, they taught us not to eat in the streets. I know it may seem ridiculous to most of you, but it does make sense to an extent. For certain types of food, like ice cream etc. (you can use your imagination), it would be untznius to eat these things with people watching you. I actually found a quote of a Rabbi saying that people should take on certain tznius suggestions and this was one of them:

“Refrain from eating/drinking in public areas, especially where men are present.”

So there is actually something to it, the kid didn’t make it up, and my school didn’t make up. But yes, I do agree it is a chumra, and not a Halacha! But yet, there’s nothing wrong with not eating in the streets, so to me it’s a higher level. So I admire those that keep to it, and wouldn’t make fun of them.

Anger –> Kefira

Previously I had written about how Stealing equals kefira. Now we will look at how Anger equals kefira.

Midah means characteristic and measurement. We are supposed to have a certain measure of each characteristic whether seemingly “good” or “bad”. There are only 2 characteristics that have no upside, and they are jealousy and arrogance.

The only way we can possess anger is if we don’t really feel angry inside. When trying to teach a child or congregation, we may appear angry on the outside. The way we are able to do this is because so long as we don’t feel angry on the inside then it’s not real anger. The child will be able to tell that the parent still loves him in the inside, and he will improve.

When a person is angry, what is the classic line they say? “You make me so mad!”. A person whose angry has lost control, they are allowing the other person to control their emotions.

People choose anger for 3 reasons:

1. To avoid intimacy – “into me see” - with themselves. They are blaming everyone else.
   
   
2. To avoid a relationship with others. Tochacha comes from the word clarify, a person should ask others to explain themselves, calmly. When giving Tochacha you can’t be angry, or else it is pointless. Since the child will just see the anger, and will be afraid to do wrong because “Totty gets angry” rather than because it’s wrong.
   
   
3. To avoid honest relationship with Hashem. They are in essence telling Hashem that things should be run differently.

Kefira is denial, when a person complains about another tzelom elokim they are saying Hashem didn’t do right. Their not noticing that Hashem runs this world and is only good.

Adam complained about Chava, he denied the good in her and was a Kofer. The Meraglim complained about Eretz yisroel and Bnei Yisroel got punished for it with 40 years in the midbar. Complaining is in essence a denial of Hashem, and therefore Hashem punishes for it. Anger is the present day Avoda Zaara, a person is loosing control of themselves, and denying the good in others.

Hashem wants us to change and improve ourselves, so He sends us challenges, with difficult people. If we don’t succeed with one difficult person, then Hashem gives us another chance and sends us another difficult person.

Every morning we wake up because Hashem hasn’t given up on us, so we can change. When we complain we prevent the shefa of Brachos Hashem has for us. So we have to be in control of our anger and realize that everything Hashem does is good, and then we can receive the abundance of good Hashem has in stored for us.

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R’ Rietti is another gateways speaker who gave a great speech, with his famous humor.

 

FYI: These shiurim are part of the Irgun Shiurai Torah program. If you look to your left you will see the schedule posted onto the sidebar, click the image to expand

This Week’s Wrap-Up – Busha!

Sunday I went to the dentist thinking I was going to have just a short appointment, that he wasn’t going to do any work on my teeth. But he decided to put a post in my tooth to get ready for my crown. When I saw him bring in a container with small narrow metal looking things I asked him “What are you going to do to me?” and he said he was going to put a screw in my tooth, he asked me if I was nervous. I of course said “yea!”. He didn’t want to start up any trouble, and I felt bad, so I reassured him that I’ll be okay. So he got to work, and he gave me no shot, I was relived! I figured if there’s no shot, that means it won’t hurt. So he did what he did and it was over with and I was fine.

Afterwards I asked my father if the dentist gave him shots before he put a screw in his tooth, and my father said he had gotten 4 shots. So I started to wonder if the dentist had just forgotten to give me the shot before he worked on my tooth. But then my mother explained to me, that because I had a root canal on that tooth, there was no nerve left, so no shot was needed. At that point I felt really grateful for getting a root canal in the past!

Monday, I went to school, and I like my philosophy class, so I raise my hand here and there to comment on what the professor says. So I raised my hand and started speaking and then I realized something strange, I heard my voice in my head, I couldn’t here how it sounded once it was spoken. I thought that was strange, but didn’t make anything of it. Then I went to my next class and was sitting there and realized I had an ache in my ear, and it was throbbing painfully. I waited the hour and forty five minutes for the class to be over and went home. When it was time to go to school again I just didn’t have the strength and my ear was hurting, so I lay in bed. Then my father comes home and sees that I haven’t gone to school, so he realized something must be bothering me. So he tried to make a Dr appointment for that night, but couldn’t get a hold of the doctor. So I took some Motrin to reduce the swelling in my ear and it helped.

Tuesday, my mother finally got a hold of the doctor and made an appointment for me. So at 2:00 I went to the doctor. Now here’s where the Busha stories start coming in. The Dr. took a look at my ear and said I had an ear infection. Then he took the stethoscope and put it my back and asked me to breath, So I was breathing in and out. Then when he brought it to the front, I continued breathing in and out, and then he tells me “your heart beats itself, you don’t need to do that anymore”. I was embarrassed and couldn’t remember my pediatric doctor ever telling me that you don’t have to breath by the front. Anyways, then he said my heart was beating fast, and that for every 10 beats faster it means that my temperature is one degree higher. Which means that I have fever. Then he said he wanted to take some blood tests to make sure that everything is okay. He prescribed me antibiotics and some ear drops.

So I lie back on the examination table, and this lady comes in to take out the blood. She was about to start working on my right hand, and foolish me asks her if she can do my left hand instead. She gave me this mean look and said “what difference does it make?”. So I told her “I’m a righty, and this way I’ll be able to write”. So then she starts laughing at me. She looks at me with bewilderment and says “You think your not going to be able to write after this?”. So then I look sheepish and realized it wasn’t a big deal. So she gets to work, tying a band around my arm, and I turn to face the wall and close my eyes. Then she does her thing, and when its over, I still have my eyes closed and my head turned away. So she says to me “you didn’t even notice it was over, see it wasn’t so bad” and she was laughing some more. I laughed out of busha that I was such a baby. So then she reassured me saying “you should see the men that come in here, they’re really chicken. They squint their eyes close, hold their fist tight as if they will go through the most excruciating pain”.

Then at night I had my robotics class, and we were having a quiz, and I knew my lab partners were counting on me, so even though I wasn’t feeling well, I went to school. I took the quiz, finished quickly, and could have went home. But I figured I’d wait to play it out, so I stayed and did all the lab work. With my head down 75% of the time. At 9:15 my mother picked me up, so I just left the classroom, one of my lab partners asked if I was feeling okay and she offered to give me a ride, but I reassured her I’m fine, and told her that my mother was picking me up. So then I got home and realized it was a mistake to have gone to school, my ear was throbbing and my head was hot, and my teeth were chattering.

As my mother was driving me home in the rain, I realized a cool thing. If you look at the floor of the street at night in the rain you can see a “rainbow cake”. There’s a layer of red, green and yellow, it was really cool.

Wednesday, I had a paper due, and I remember my professor saying that if we can’t make it to class we can e-mail it to her before 10:30. Luckily I had done the paper on Friday (when I wrote the Kibud Av V’Aim post; [the post wasn’t my paper]), So I e-mailed it to her at 9:00 and figured I’d skip my first 2 classes, and try to study for my test that night. That didn’t happen though, cause although I took my antibiotics, it was not helping me, only the Motrin seemed to work- (children’s Motrin at that), and I figured out, it takes an hour for it to kick in, and then it can last for 7 hours. So I timed myself, and so long as I took the Motrin at the right times I was fine. But not up to studying.

I know it’s not mothers day yet, but I’ll put in my little mother’s day thoughts here. My MOTHER is really the best! She stayed home with me the whole day, she gave me my medicine, put in the drops for me, brought me up some bread and soft things that I can eat without chewing. She made delicious soup that was easy for me to swallow. After I had eaten my mother stayed to entertain me for a while, we talked about all kinds of things. She told me stories from when I was a baby, what I was like. It was really fun to hear, even though I wasn’t the best baby. She told me how my twin brother was always the quiet one never crying, and how I would always cry if she would leave me for a second. She told me how she used to have a routine for us in the summer, she would put us in the double carriage and take us for a walk, and we would nap 2 hours, then we would come back home and play 2 hours, then nap again, etc. I love looking at pictures of me or my siblings when we were babies, and watching the videos of us. (Although we don’t have a VCR, so we really have to convert those videos to DVDs!) She brought me a coloring book of flowers and gardens, and we colored together! I found a page of tulips and colored that, I had decided that tulips was my favorite flower.

So I had to skip my night class and miss the midterm. I feel really upset about this, because I had planned on studying really hard for this test and trying to do well so I can boost my grade. But now I lost this opportunity, and my only hope is the final. Which having 6 finals in 3 days, makes it hard to spend quality time on each one and I feel really helpless. I feel as though I will be letting so many people down. I’m supposed to be graduating, and now I’m blowing it all up once again. Unless the professor will understand and not give me a zero for this test I missed.

Any case my philosophy professor was really nice and e-mailed me back saying Thanks for the paper and that I should feel better and all.

Now going to sleep was really hard, because I like sleeping on my right ear, but with it infected, it hurt to lean on it, so I had to sleep on my other side, so I kept tossing and turning and waking up in middle of the night to take some more Motrin.

Thursday, I was starting to feel better, but I could only hear from one ear, luckily I had no class. I came to school to see Mike (Thanks for the card it was really cute), and it was good to get out and see day light, it was a really nice day out.

Then later my other ear started hurting, so I had a follow-up appointment with the doctor, so I went 5:00. I told him the other ear started hurting, and he said I could put some drops into that one too. He said the right ear is starting to look better, that the swelling is going down. He said I should continue the antibiotics for another 5 days. Then he said there might be some side effects from taking the antibiotics, and he named this word. It was a word I never heard of, so me ever the curious one asked him what that was. Then he exclaimed “You really don’t know what that is, I was hoping to get a blush out of you with that one”. Then I realized what the shoresh was, while he explained it partially, without saying the shoresh word. That was a major Busha moment.

At night I decided to make supper, my mother said she had some chop meat that she bought, so I was going to make meatballs, but I like it with cranberry sauce, and none of the stores seem to sell it anymore. So I opened my cookbook to look for a new recipe that involves chop meat. I found a meatloaf recipe, I’ve never had meatloaf before and the ingredients looked okay, so I figured I would make it. It was easy to make, and the recipe said you can put mashed potatoes on top of it before you put it into the oven, so I did that. Afterwards I tasted it, and it was pretty good, although it had a lot of flavor.

Friday, I woke up and realized that my other ear, my left ear, was now swollen and hurting, and my right ear was almost cleared up. My mother guessed that the fluid must have just gone to the other ear instead of drying up. So here I was thinking that over the weekend I should be feeling better, but then it looks like it’s just going to be starting all over again.

I’m starting to wonder, if maybe my ear got infected from the dentist chair. It’s strange that the day after I went to the dentist I got an ear infection, when my ears have always been so good in the past. I know by Dr’s offices they have these wax paper looking things they roll out. But by the dentist they don’t have anything covering the chair, so maybe when I head my head laying on it sideways for my dentist to work on it, maybe it got infected there.

Related Posts: Embarrassing Babysitting Moments, Kindness of Mothers, The Wife The Inspirer, Close an Ear What do You Hear?

Any case, that was one long wrap up of my Busha filled week, have a Good Shabbos all!

Kibud Av V’Aim

Philosophy issue #3 (issue 1 here, issue 2 here)

Here’s a question I have never thought about before:

What do grown children owe their parents?

Jane English claims children owe their parents nothing. That it’s only out of friendship that children will give to their parents. So if there’s a good connection, then the children will want to help their parents just like helping anyone else they care about. English says it’s because an obligation can only exist when there is a contract. Since parents had children without the children’s consent, then it is not a contract, so there is no debt to be paid back. Rather the parents have done a favor.

Christina Sommers, on the other hand, claims that children owe their parents respect no matter what. If parents provide the basics to their children when they are young, then the children at least owe the basics back to their parents. Aristotle says parents gave the children the gift of life and that is the greatest gift of all, without parents they wouldn’t exist, so children owe their parents for that.

Emanuel Kant’s theory is concerned with the motives and intentions of a person rather than the consequences that come out of it. Since a person has control over their intentions but not the consequences. Kant breaks down our actions into two categories, the hypothetical imperative and the categorical imperative. The hypothetical imperatives are the desire-based motives that have nothing to do with morality. Therefore, if a person wants something then they do the action to obtain what they want. The categorical imperative on the other hand, does have to do with morality; they are reason-based motives, for which a person is morally responsible. Therefore, a person ought to do something no matter if they want to do it or not.

An important part of Kant’s theory is, to “act only according to that maxim which you can at the same time will that it should become a universal law”.

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Now here’s where my Jewish opinion comes in.

I think Children to owe their parents, so I disagree with Jane English. I agree with Christina Sommers that children owe their parents respect, after all it is called “Kibud”. I remember learning Hilchas Kibud Av V’Aim a while ago. Where it was discussed whether a child has to pay for something the parent wants. Example: if the parent asks the child to do something for them, and the child would have to pay a fare for transportation, then the parent should pay for the transportation, unless the child is able to walk and avoid the fare.

Now with Kant’s theory on motives, it reminds me of “Kavannah” and how Hashem decides if a person should get “schar or Onesh”. From what I remember, Hashem punishes a person only if they had the intention to do bad. However, Hashem gives reward to people for good, no matter if they had the good intention or not.

Now about Kant’s two different imperatives, Kant says there are some actions that have nothing to do with Morality. But if you look at it the Jewish way, everything can be connected to morality. Even the simple act of eating or sleeping becomes moral if you have a moral intention. An example being, a mother sleeps with the intention of having energy to raise her children. With the intention she has elevated her action to become a holy one, and not a mundane one.

About acting only by actions that you can rule on others, sounds like “do not do unto others that which you wouldn’t want done to you”. It makes sense, however, in Jewish law we know there is no absolute rule, there are always exceptions and Kal V’Chomers. Even in the case of lying, there are times when you are supposed to lie. Hashem lied to Avraham for the sake of Shalom Bayis. I once heard that if the wife broke a vase by mistake, and her husband will get angry at her for it, then she is allowed to say the child broke it, so that the husband shouldn’t get angry at her. This is assuming that the husband will not get angry at the child, since he would understand that children tend to be more clumsy and break things easily.

Seudas Hoda’ah

I decided to take a break from the Parsha posts, and am stopping with Parshas Tzav, and will continue the rest next year. First I would like to bring up Parshas Tzav again, I had talked about the topic of Hoda’ah- Thanks, now I’d like to talk about it some more.

Shema Yisrael:

In the times of the Beis HaMikdash, the seudas hoda'ah consisted of the Korbon Todah. Nowadays, we have no Korbon Todah; however, we still make a seudas hoda'ah when we experience a miracle of Hashem's chessed. During that seudah, we speak about the miracle; how The Almighty saved us from a dangerous situation. This implants within us the middah (character trait) of hakoras hatov (gratitude), and recognition of all the good things that Hashem does for us. You do not need to wait until a big miracle happens to express hakoras hatov to Hashem. You can thank Him every day for the constant miracles of keeping you alive, healthy, providing food, clothing, family, teachers, and hundreds of other chassodim. Thank Him always. "Thank You Hashem!"

I remember in elementary school when we were taught Borei Nefashos, the teacher taught it to us in a song that went like this: “Barach Ata Hashem…..Borei Nefashos…..Chai Haolamim, Thank You Hashem for the Delicious food”. Now every time I say Borei Nefashos I always add on the Thank you part, it comes so naturally, that I forget it’s not part of the Bracha. But since it’s in English, it’s the part I understand, so as I’m saying it, the words remind me of what the Bracha is about.

I’m not really sure how much I can blog about this topic, as it might be too personal. But suffice it to say this Shabbos I’m having my 8th Seudas Hoda’ah for that unlucky Wednesday in 2001. I never really think about it much, I remember it comes out April time, Rosh Chodesh Iyar. It’s the one time a year when I actually eat Shalosh Seudos. We used to donate some sefer to the shul at this time. I usually acknowledge the time of year but never really feel the Thankfulness of it.

But then this year I was thinking about it, and I realized I have a lot to be thankful for. Sometimes I feel as though my life is too easy, that it becomes hard for me to do the right thing all the time. I sometimes wish bad things would happen to me, so that I wouldn’t be so “spoiled” and would become a better person. I hear about people suffering and it makes me feel inadequate, as though how can I be living the way I am, when they are suffering so.

Then this time of year comes, as a reminder, that my life wasn’t so smooth, I did have my bumps. I realize I have the opportunity to be thankful for it, so that I had my hardship early on and was able to learn and change from it.

Hashem has done a miracle for me and saved my life, when I think of that it gives me an incentive and motivation to make myself a better person. I wish I can constantly remember this, but I realize it takes more than this gratitude towards Hashem, to make myself constantly a better person. It takes an extra level of love and dedication to Hashem and His mitzvos, to make me constantly aware of my reason for being here and to act upon it.

I find that a very hard task, it’s hard to imagine this great Hashem when He’s not a physical being that we can see, but rather all spiritual. One of my High School teachers used to tell us that we have to think to ourselves every day “Hashem loves me”. It became ingrained in me, that when good things Happen, no matter how little, it’s from Hashem. So if I was typing out a comment and lost my connection, refreshed and found my comment was still there, I would say “Hashem loves me”. It feels good to realize it’s from Hashem.

The next step is to love Hashem back, I made my picture to say “I love Hashem” as a reminder to myself to work on the Midah of Ahavas Hashem, which is the best possible way of doing the Mitzvos.

Sefiras Haomer

There are 7 sefiros which are the seven midos that Hashem uses, the more we develop them the more similar we become to Hashem, and then we have proper receptors for the Torah.

1- Chesed 2- Gevurah 3- teferes 4- netzach 5- hod 6- yesod 7- Malchos

Chesed- outpouring of goodness

1. Hashem takes care of us, our hearts beat, we breath.
2. we should look out for other people, be an active doer, see how you can help others, what do they need.
3. Avraham was proactive in Chesed, he built his tent with 3 doors so people can find him from all over.

Gevurah- strength, an inner strength to control myself

1. When we deserve punishment Hashem gives us a chance to improve, Hashem wants to do for you, but he holds himself back so that you can learn to make bechira choices and develop your self.
2. we should hold ourselves back and don't respond in an inappropriate way to people pushing our buttons.
3. Yitzchak by the Akeda restrained himself so that he won't stop the knife.

Teferes- glory, beauty, Emes, Harmony, well balanced.

1. Hashem has chesed and gevurah, balance, knowing when to give and when to restrain.
2. We have to have a balance within our personality when to do and when to hold back. Emes- everything is correct, being true to ourselves. Having integrity and consistency- being the same wherever we our.
3. Yaakov, when he lived with Yitzchak he was a tzadik then when he lived with lavon he didn't compromise his principals. He didn't have an easy life, in all the situations he though of what is the Emes thing to do.

Netzach- eternity/win

1. Hashem doesn't just decide what is good now, but rather long term, what is good for me as a person.
2. When we make choices in our day we should see if it will get us to our goal. Don't give up cause long term we will see its good for us.
   (Ex: we clean the house for a pleasant environment. While cleaning the floor, a kid comes home all muddy, you are about to get angry and scream- that becomes an unpleasant environment. You loose the Netzach, you have to think for the purpose- Pleasantness. See how much diff will it make long term.)
   a) learn about the complexity of the human body- so not stuck in the moment
   b) meditate about own past history- brought to where you are now
   c) meditate about yourself standing with everyone in your community then broaden the picture more to all people of Bnei Ysiroel then broaden it to everyone in the world, then imagine all the galaxies -- This gives us a broader picture.
3. Moshe gave us the torah with instructions on how to put eternal meaning into every moment of life.

Hod- glory, thankfulness, admit. When we are thankful we feel the glory in the object.

1. Notice the small goodness others or Hashem are doing in my life- feeling thankful, Hakaras Hatov- recognizing the good.
2. necessity- when we have something we don't feel the joy but when there's a lack we feel the pain. Luxury- when we don't have something we have no pain, but when we get it then there's joy. The more stuff we claim are luxuries then the more joy we will have in our life.
   a) Say thanks to people for the small things they do.
   b) when we say brachos think about all the work that went into each piece of cake.
   c) When hashgacha pratis happens say a perek of tehillim
   d) when see a beautiful scenery it should be a motivation and acknowledge Hashem.
   e) keep a journal of the HP in your life
3. Aharon saw the goodness in others so then there was peace.

Yesod- basic foundation.

1. a)eating, sleeping- physical- vivid, real immediate, don't last, only there at the moment. b) aesthetic pleasure - beautiful music, paintings, scenery, doesn't change who I am as a person unless we use the motivation to change ourselves. c) connection- relationship with others or Hashem. (a baby needs this deepest level, needs touch) this is Yesod of who we are, we seek a connection with Hashem.
2. make sure the connection between males and females is spiritual. Men- Shmiras Ainayim. Woman- how much are we calling outside attention to ourselves, have a consideration for others, we don't want to create a temptation that he doesn't want. have a sense of self from the inside.
3. Yosef had the biggest temptation, he was interested, it was so difficult to control himself, but he held himself back, he used the image of his father, someone he respected so much, and then asked himself how would he feel in front of him if he acted this way. We should think of a role model and how we would feel in front of his person if we acted this way.

Malchos - kingship

1. focus on making Hashem my king in every moment of the day, feel His presence in everything I do.
2. Hashem is pouring a shefa of life experiences we go thru, we should take these life experiences and filter them thru the torah, how would the torah want us to deal with it. If not the torah then the eyes of a Rabbi. Whatever is being poured down the goal is to crown hashem with it, elevate it to make hashem my king thru this life Experience
3. Dovid had life challenges, he teaches Benei Yisroel to do Yeshuva thru that, he composed tehilim, how to make Hashem Melech in every life experience.

The next day is shevuous when we are ready to receive the torah, which tells us how to connect with Hashem in every life experience.

Helping Oneself

Philosophy Issue#2 (Issue#1 here)

Now this is a topic I find myself strongly being able to relate to. I’ve been told countless times “you have to do what you want, what do you want?”. I always have the same answer that I want to do what the right thing is, whether that’s what my parents say, or school says, or whoever I feel is right. It caused me to feel sandwiched with the whole college dilemma, since I didn’t know what I wanted for myself. Since I have such a strong care for others, I want what they want. (Although when I was babysitting, I realized I was sacrificing too much of myself and had to put an end to it.)

Jean Hampton in 1993 wrote an article called “Selflessness and the Loss of Self”. She discusses this topic of helping oneself and having self authorship. There are two “moral voices”, the ethic of care and the ethic of justice.

Women-ethic of care: they take into consideration people’s feelings. Mothers were trained to be this way since they have to raise a family and take care of their children. A mother has to care for her children and be aware of their feelings when siblings fight.

Men-ethic of justice: they make decisions based on logic. Men were trained to be this way since they are in the work place and have to make quick decisions. Business is all about quick decisions based on logic, they never think of the competitors feelings.

We have lots of mitzvos that are other related, “Vehafta L’reach Hakamocha” and you can’t embarrass another person, you have the mitzvah of “Kibud of Haem” and respecting your elders, and the midah of “anivus”. We have the concept of being “mevatar” to give something up for another person to have. All this trains us to be good moral people who care about others.

At the same time I fear we become so other oriented, that we loose focus of ourselves.

The question becomes how much do we owe to ourselves and how much to others?

Boys would say if responsibility to others and to oneself conflict then you go about 3/4 to yourself and 1/4 to others. Boys feel the most important thing in their decision is themselves.

Girls on the other hand would say it depends on the situation that if you have responsibility to someone else then you should keep it to the extent that it is really going to hurt you or stop you from doing something you really, really, want, then maybe you put yourself first. A girl would evaluate what she feels is more important, her job or someone she loves, and if it’s someone she barely knows then maybe she would go first.

Now I personally think the girl is being better. However, I do understand where it’s important to take care of oneself so as not to cause harm to oneself when taking care of others. A perfect example of the girl way of thinking is Tembow in her You want my... honey?? post.

Self authorship is needed for a person to make a decision that is based on what they choose to do, and not dictated by society. This enables you to grow as an individual. An example: an investment banker had wanted to be a clown his whole life, and even though he was making tons of money he didn’t feel satisfied so he decided to drop his job and go to clown school, now he has self authored his life.

I think self authorship is important to prevent a person from doing avairos. If a person chooses what they want, and if they want to do the right thing, then they will. But if they are pressured into doing what other people say, then they may be encouraged to do something they really don’t want to do, and thereby do an avaira.

Parshas Vayikra

Midah means measurement. Someone with Middos has the right amount of measurements for each characteristic. There is no such thing as a bad characteristic. Each one can be good when used at the right time, in the right way, in the right amount. I remember in 12th grade my teacher taught us why it’s important to have pride to be a good Jew, it stuck with me through all this time.

Something to Say:

From the cattle or from the flock shall you bring the offering (1:2)

The Sages tell us that the cattle, referring to bulls and cows, symbolize haughtiness, whereas the flock, referring to sheep and goats, symbolize humility. The verse mentions both to signify that these two character traits, both arrogance and humility, must be utilized in the service of God. In this context, haughtiness is not meant in a negative or destructive sense, but rather a sense of pride that is necessary to fulfill our duties. The Zohar refers to this as azus dikedushah, arrogance of holiness, the strength of character we must exercise when someone wishes to turn us away from our obligations to God.

I know some of you feel that Jews can seem haughty sometimes, or act arrogant, but you see here, really it’s needed as a survival tactic. There’s nothing wrong with being haughty in of itself, its only when it’s used for negative that it is bad.