Parshas Bamidbar

Shvous is almost here, during sefira we are awaiting the Torah, and counting up the days till we reach this great day of when we accepted the Torah.

Something to say:

In the wilderness of Sinai (1:1).

The Midrash tells us that the Torah was given to Israel in fire, in water, and in a wilderness. The Shem MiShmuel comments that these three elements symbolize the way an individual should strive to acquire Torah. He should learn it with the “fire” of enthusiasm – with an eager and fervent heart. The Torah student also needs “water” – a calm, peaceful thoughtful approach to learning, symbolized by the tranquility of water, which will help him master the material. Finally, he needs the “wilderness” – a willingness to forgot material pursuits that serve as obstacles to spiritual accomplishments.

The relationship we should have with the Torah is the same relationship as husband to wife. We should love to learn Torah and put our energy into it. We should be thoughtful in learning the Torah, and we should be willing to forgo other distractions so that we can focus more on Torah. Torah should be our number one priority, so that everything else we do in life should be for the Torah.

Segulos

I had a class on Segulos in Seminary that was very interesting, so I decided to share it.

We are not supposed to follow in the ways of the Goyim, but with health related issues you don’t have to worry about following in the ways of the goyim. In other words, you should use a doctor.

1- If a person is chocking on a bone, they should put a bone on their forehead and say  “חד חד נחית בלע בלע נחית חד חד " – it works.

“והיתם לי סגולה מכל העמים”, Something can just work even if it doesn’t make sense. Like medicine comes from grass, so too Segulos will work through Torah.

A person’s approach to a Segulah is to put their trust in Hashem, and by doing these things we believe Hashem will help us.

2- If a child talks in their sleep, take the tooth of a dog and put it on a necklace around the child.

3- For ear infection, Put the mothers milk in the ear of the child, or mix with white of egg and put in ear. – It works, it’s medicine.

4- If a Mezuzah is Posul then missing a Shmirah, so check the mezuzah’s 2 times in 7 years.

5- During pregnancy a baby is formed based on what the mother does, so shouldn’t stare at animals in the zoo, don’t go to the cemetery or a Livayah, careful with what you eat and see.

6- A woman in the 9th month should go to the mikvah to cleanse herself of things she did wrong during the pregnancy.

7- A woman that can’t have children should take water from a well in Eretz Yisroel. Best Segulah for health is to say Asher Yatzar.

8- For Parnassah bench with Kavanah

9- If a woman is pregnant, she should bake a cake when she feels like she’s going into labor, and say the name of a person who doesn’t have a child, and it’s a segulah that they’ll have a child.

10- If a person has warts, take the Havdallah wine and put it on, and the wart will go away. –It works.

11- If a person can’t have children, boil Aravos and drink it, same for migraines.

12- First time it snows, take snow and rub on forehead 3 times to have a good memory. Gematria of Sheleg and Shikcha is 33.

13- Pick up your head when your trying to remember, and put your head down to concentrate.

14- For bad burn say 3x “…יברכך ה׳ וישמרך”, “יאיר ה׳…” “ישא ה׳”. And have Kavanah that Hashem should heal you.

15- Garlic on child keeps away an Ayin Hora. People keep Garlic on pocket book to keep away Ayin Hora.

16-Small aquarium, necklace with ה׳, keep away Ayin Hora.

17- Bucharian, when children get scared take metal pot, heat up lead, take hat and put the led into it, put the hat on the child, led will turn into the form of what the child is thinking of, like a dog.

18- If you have a bad dream, you can sell it.

My Attempt at Being a Teacher

Ilana-Davita came up with a great idea – The Mesorah Project. Where different bloggers can contribute their thoughts of what Mesorah means to them.

This week I participated and guest posted here. In the comments Leora asked if I ever thought about becoming a teacher. This got me thinking and it reminded me of a homework assignment I had to do for seminary. Where I had to prepare a lesson plan, as though I was a teacher. So I figured I’d share my attempt at being a teacher with you, and let you be the judge. (I got a 95 on the project, so it’s not that good). The topic had to be from Parshas Shoftim, so I chose Bribery.

---

Justice: פרק טז׳ פסוקים יז׳ לפרק יז׳ פסוק יג׳
Laws for Kings: כ׳-פרק יז׳ פסוקים יד׳
Cities of Refuge: פרק יח׳ פסוקים ו׳ לפרק יט׳ פסוק יג׳
Rules of War: 'כ -פרק כ׳ פסוקים א׳
The Laws of "Eglah Arufah.": פרק כא׳ פסוק א׳-ט׳

---

Morah: What is a bribe?

Student: To give money to someone so they’ll do you a favor.

Morah: So then what is the main purpose of a bribe?

Student: to get them to do what you want

Morah: Exactly, a bribe is used to influence people.

Morah: Let us read the posuk in:  פרשת שופטים פרק יט׳ פסוק טז׳‏ 

לא תטה משפט לא תכיר פנים ולא תקח שוחד כי השוחד יעור עיני חכמים ויסלף דברי חכמים

Morah: Let’s look into the Rashi, (student) _____ do you want to read?

Student: ok, which one?

Morah: לא תכיר פנים

Student: (reads the Rashi)

Morah: now let’s try to understand what the Rashi is saying. A judge can not show favoritism even at the time in court where they are each pleading their case. For example: to make one stand and one sit. Since one will notice that the judge is showing more respect to his opponent and he will therefore not bother to plead his case anymore.

Ok, who wants to read the next Rashi?

Student: (raises hand)

Morah: Please read Rashi כי השוחד יעור

Student: (reads the Rashi)

Morah: Who can try to explain what the Rashi is saying?

Student: That as soon as a judge accepts a bribe, no matter what, he will decide the judgment in the person’s favor.

Morah: Exactly.

Morah: Now that we have looked at bribery dealing with judges, let us try to see what else we can learn from this. Who else do you think the rules of bribery apply to?

Student: Rich people?

Morah: Yes, it could apply to rich people, but even more than that.

Student: Everyone

Morah: Yes! Each and every one of us could fall into the trap of bribery. Think about it, if you have two friends and one does you a favor and one doesn’t, who are you willing to help first?

Student: The one who did a favor for me.

Morah: Therefore, Bribery doesn’t only have to be money or anything too valuable, just a few pennies could be considered a bribe.

Morah: Now let us look at the words in the posuk more carefully. Who can think of why the Hebrew word שוחד is used for bribery. What שורש do you see in the word שוחד?

Student: אחד

Morah: That is correct. When a judge accepts a bribe from one of the people being judged, he becomes “one” with him and therefore can no longer judge without being biased. I will tell you another reason why the word שוחד is used with the lashon אחד. When a judge rules a case honestly he becomes a partner with Hashem in the creation of heaven and earth. Since the judge who accepts bribery cannot offer a just decision, Hashem now remains alone, without a partner.

Morah: Who could think of a question on this posuk?

Student: If a bribe is a bad thing, and if the judge accepted a bribe, why is he called a Tzadik?

Morah: Excellent question! I will bring a story to explain this concept.

A Din-Torah once took place before Rabbi Avraham Yehoshua Heschel of Apta. While the Din-Torah was in progress, one of the parties felt that he was going to lose, so he asked permission to leave the room for a short while. In the hallway outside the Beit Din room, he noticed the Rabbi's coat and placed a sum of money in the pocket.

The Din-Torah resumed, and the Rabbi, who up until now was beginning to formulate a certain opinion, suddenly began to change his line of thought. The Rabbi, puzzled as to why his way of thinking was suddenly changing, told the two parties that he would like to call a recess and have more time to think over the matter.

Meanwhile, he prayed to Hashem to be blessed with the proper wisdom to see the truth. A few days later, as he was putting on his coat, he put his hand in his pocket and suddenly felt a bundle of money. The Rabbi exclaimed, "Now I understand what happened to me. A bribe is so powerful that even though it was given to me without my knowledge it had an effect on my thinking."

The Torah is telling us that even though the judge may indeed be a tzaddik and would not accept a bribe, a bribe given to him, even without his knowledge, may pervert his judgment.

---

---

Quiz

True or False

1. A bribe is only money ______
2. A judge can’t show favor by letting one stand and one sit, in a court room ______
3. If the judge doesn’t know he’s receiving a bribe then he will judge righteously_____
4. Bribery applies to everyone______
5. שוחד has the word אחד in it to teach us that the judge becomes alone, and no longer a partner with Hashem when he doesn’t judge the right way_____
6. Only bad people accept bribes_____

---

Goals: Students will be able to understand what a bribe is.
Sources: Chumash with Rashi, R’ Berel Wein, and Chabad for kids
Materials: hand out the quizzes
Board: Drawn above
Method of Evaluation: Quiz written above.
Students: Bais Yaakov girls

In Search of Pleasure

For everything in this world there is a kosher equivalent. There was a great Rabbi whose wife said she wanted milk and meat together. A normal reaction of a husband who hears that would be outrage, to think Chas V’ Shalom what happened to her? How could she think such a thing? But the Rabbi didn’t react that way, instead he went and asked for a cow’s udder. Now she was able to have milk and meat together in a kosher way.

Hashem wants us to have pleasure and enjoy from this world. There are several chazals that prove this.

1. A Nazir brings a Karbon Chatas because he sinned by not enjoying pleasure in this world, the wine.
   
2. If I were to ask you what the first commandment is, you would say it’s when Hashem tells Adam not to eat from the Eitz Hadas. But really that’s not the first commandment. If you look at the posuk it says Hashem commanded Adam to eat.
   
3. Hashem showed Adam and Chava the beautiful world.

If a person doesn’t partake in the pleasures of this world then they have no gratitude. If a person enjoys pleasures of this world then they will be a happier person and easy to get along with.

However, there is a flip side. The more we have pleasure the less we enjoy it. Think of your favorite food, the first time you eat it, it’s like heaven on earth. But if you were to have that food every day then you wouldn’t enjoy it as much. I believe that’s why Hashem gave us boundaries, that’s why there are the Halachos of Nidah, so that it stays a special thing.

Think of this scenario, you are in the freezing cold for 3 1/2 hours, where there is only 25 minutes of action, where you have people standing up in front of you when something happens thereby not allowing you to see anything, where you have to pay for food and there are inaccessible unsanitary bathrooms. It doesn’t sound like a pleasant experience.

Then picture this scenario, you are sitting on your living room couch in front of a Plasma screen TV with the football game on, where you are in the warmth of your own house, where you can see the whole game clearly, where you get any food you want, where the bathroom is available to you and clean. Now this sounds like a pleasant experience.

Now if you ask a person why they would rather go to a football game than watch the game in the living room, they will say they go for the experience of being part of a large group. During the football game the people will cheer to “J-E-T-S” or whichever team they are going for, this is to remind them that they are part of the group. They will also do the “wave” for the same reason.

If you open a cookbook and take a look at a recipe, you won’t see it saying to take a steak and cook it, rather you will see lists of ingredients that you combine to form a recipe.

→ At this time I would like to point out that A Mother In Israel started a relatively new blog, called Cooking Manager with great tips on cooking. Leora has a great collection of recipes as does Ilana Davita a great collection of recipes. 

Same with music, there are various notes, voices and instruments that are combined together to form a beautiful harmony.

When two people love each other, you have two bodies with one soul.

The essence of all these examples, is unity.

People who are patriotic for their country, do it because they want to feel the unity. Being a part of something gives us pleasure. I will take this time to point out that being a blogger is also an example of being part of a whole – the blogosphere, and it gives me great pleasure to be a part of such a great thing.

→ Mike In Midwood has a great creative post called Chaim Snyder which is a great example for two of the points made so far. The first being there is a Kosher version of everything, hence the post is about Chaim Snyder being the Kosher version of Harry Potter. The second being people like to be part of a large group, since lots of people have read/watched Harry Potter, other people want to also, because then they belong to the group of Harry Potter readers/watchers/fans.

The Torah starts with the letter Bais, it has two pointers, one points up to Hashem who created us. The second points down, to before the creation of people where there was oneness. With the creation of people there became Bais, “twoness”, where we feel a separation from the Aleph, Hashem. As a correction we try to seek pleasure with Hashem.

There is a pleasure we get from putting together a puzzle, where we are building something. All pleasure if used in the right way can lead us in the direction of unity with Hashem. The more we experience unity, we get closer to Hashem.

We all know the famous story, where a man came to Hillel and asked to him to explain to him the Torah on one foot. Hillel said “What is hateful to you, don’t to unto your friend, and the rest is commentary”. Now how can we explain this?

One explanation:

There are 3 categories of a friend. 1- Hashem: Yedid Nefesh. 2- Fellow Jew. 3- Neshama- our closes friend. The Torah is all about those 3 types of friends.

Second explanation:

The purpose of the world is for a person to become similar to Hashem – Tzelem Elokim, so the Torah tells us how.

When you think to yourself “What do I want”, the I could mean different things. In the highest scenario, it would play out like this:

I = body and soul, friends and family, and all of the Jewish People.

This is where all the pleasures come together. The pleasure for yourself and others is the essence of Torah, unity, to bridge with others.

It says on “that day” Hashem will be one and His name will be one. Now why does it need to say both? Because now we read Hashem’s name differently from the way it is written. At “that time” Hashem’s name will be read the way it is written. The reason we read it differently now, is because we don’t see what we know, we don’t see Hashem clearly.

To recap, we are supposed to have pleasure in this world. We like to feel unity. This leads us to be closer with Hashem. Therefore, every time we do an action we should see if it will bring unity or not.

---

I have to say there is nothing like the real thing. R’ Becher was hilarious, try to get his CD/Tape or listen to it online once it comes out.

FYI: These shiurim are part of the Irgun Shiurai Torah program. If you look to your left you will see the schedule posted onto the sidebar, click the image to expand.

What it Means to be a Proud Jew

If you notice on my sidebar in the “About Me” section of this blog, I wrote “I am a proud Jew”. Now what does that mean? I went to a shiur by R’ Dishon a few weeks ago and he spoke about this topic.

Every single Jew that’s alive makes up a part of Hashem’s name Yud-Kay-Vav-Kay. Now when someone is niftar, there is a gap in the name, a part of the name is missing. So the niftar’s children say Kadish for him. Now what is Kadish? I would of imagined it would say something about death, and passing on. But it doesn’t mention death once. What is it all about? it’s all about Hashem. This is because, since there is a gap in Hashem’s name from the person who was niftar, by saying Kadish a person is saying there’s a Hashem, and that makes up for the gap that is missing, so that Hashem’s name can be complete again.

Since each person is part of Hashem’s name, each house has the Shchina in it, and each house is a Mishkan for Hashem. Now that is why it is important for the house to have kedusha in it, so that the Shchina can rest there, and you can receive brachos. It is the Wife’s job to make sure the house has kedusha in it.

Now, to combine 2 shiurim in one. R’ Veiner spoke about “Family Security”. Which was about the internet. He said if you have internet you should get filters and a reporting system. He would be available for anyone, if they have no one else to feel uncomfortable towards.

Since a house is a Mikdash Miat and a place for the Shchina, we don’t want to kick the Shchina out by having tumah in the house. Now Tumah doesn’t mean the internet, but rather what shockingly lots of men are using the internet for. Please be righteous, and use a filter and reporting system, if you can’t trust yourself. Here’s a list that R’ Veiner gave out.

The important thing to remember, is that even if you had made a mistake and done a bad thing before, don’t let the yetzer hora get you down by making you depressed that your a bad person. Hashem gave us Yom Kippur so that we can start over fresh, it’s an amazing thing. So we just have to improve ourselves, and move forward without looking back. We can be good and strive higher even if we have made mistakes in the past.

About Jewish Food

I love going to shiurim as you can tell. It’s a way of getting a dose of Ruchnius put into my day. Monday night started a series of shiurim that will last throughout the summer. I’ve come to see many programs that have been started to keep the men busy and out of trouble in the city, while their wives and family are up in the country. I think such programs are great. But yet, when I have a family I can’t imagine leaving to the country and leaving my husband back at home, I think I would rather just stay in the city.

Anyways, the shiur I went to on Monday night was by R’ Zev Cohen on the topic of Jewish Food. While I was listening to the shiur, it reminded me of different posts I had read, it gave answers to questions other bloggers have asked. So I figured I would write one post to answer all the questions and at the same time give an interesting summary of what the shiur was about.

---

Nissan is one of the first months of the Jewish calander. Pesach comes first, and the Karbon brought on Pesach was barley, which is animal food. Then 7 weeks later is Shvous and the Karbon brought then was wheat which is human food. Since by Pesach we are like animals, and then by Shvous we become like humans, after going through the 7 week process. Now this 7 week process is compared to a lady’s cycle, where at the end there is milk which symbolizes purity. That is why on Shvous we eat Milichigs. Now how did cheese cake come about? It came about because, Pesach we have matza which has no yetzer hora, while Shvous we have Lechem which symbolizes the yetzer hora. But yet Shvous we have milk which symbolizes purity. So when you have lechem with the milk it is showing that you have the yetzer hora and yet your pure. The only way this is possible is with the Torah. So once we got the Torah on Shvous then we are able to have lechem- the yetzer hora and yet have milk- be pure. So that’s where it got started to have cheese cake, it’s lechem with milk. 

---

Chanukah became a time when people buy those Jelly doughnuts, you may ask why it’s fitting for Chanukah. The reason according to R’ Shlomo Zalman Orbach is as follows. Al Hamichya is the only place that mentions the Mezbeach, in benching it doesn’t mention it, so therefore we need a mezonos. Now Al Hamichya is also the only place it mentions Peiros, and we need a tam peiros, so that’s why there is Jelly in the Jelly doughnuts. (This is based on a posuk where it says Mezbeach and Peiros, but I forgot what the posuk is).

---

Chulent is a Jewish food that is supposed to be specifically for Shabbos. R’ Cohen said he can’t handle beans in his chulent, so he has rice. He always felt guilty as though he wasn’t having chulent the right way, but then he came across a Russian custom where they have rice in their chulent - Dafina, and then he felt better about it.

Singing In The Rain

Today I went to an excellent shiur by R’ Wallerstein. I’ve always heard how great a speaker he was, but I’ve never heard him speak live till now. He spoke about the mishnah in Pireki Avos that says “Remember these 3 things and it will keep you from doing an Avaira: 1- Know where you came from, 2- Know where your going, 3- Know you will have to give a din v’cheshbon of what you have done in life.”

He said you can compare it to a GPS, that it has to know where your coming from and the destination address. Now this part I love, he said that a GPS is amazing because when you don’t follow it’s directions, and make a wrong turn or go down a wrong path, it doesn’t yell at you but rather it says “recalculating” it figures out a new way for you to get to the same destination.

He spoke about how important it is to give your children self esteem, that it says Hashem gave us a Chiba Yisaira. So why does it have to mention that in the Pirkei Avos, wouldn’t it be known? So the answer is, you have to speak about it. You have to tell your wife and spouse spouse and children that you love them. You shouldn’t say, “o, but it’s obvious, they know I love them”. Rather you should remind them how much you love them. That you shouldn’t say “o, but I buy my wife flowers every shabbos” Because there the flowers are for shabbos, rather you should buy her flowers during the week, to show they are for her. Also, when couples are having Shalom Bayis problems rather than listing the 5 things they don’t like about each other, they should write down the 5 things they do like about each other.

He said he doesn’t believe in rewarding bad behavior. There are teens who would do something bad and then all of a sudden everyone is nice to them and gives them prizes, money, and trips to Florida. But that sends the wrong message, it tells them if they want attention they should do something bad. And then they will never correct themselves because their having the good life while their bad. He says rather you should build your child’s self esteem, tell them how much you love them, as a prevention so they shouldn’t need to find themselves and get into trouble. 

He said instead of baking a fancy dessert for Shabbos, have your seven year old daughter bake a dunken heins cake, this way she will feel good about herself. I know I’m not 7 years old, but it’s really true, lately I started cooking, and then afterwards I would ask everyone how the food was and it felt so good to hear them say they liked it. (My mother was even a true husband, I used expired eggs by mistake, and she didn’t want the whole thing to go into the garbage, so she ate from it and said the food was good anyways).

He said Yiddishkeit is not about a competition. He said the problem is when everything is made into a competition. We are each born with a tzelem elokim, there isn’t just one winner. He doesn’t believe in marks for Hebrew subjects. He says that’s what causes the children to be turned off. That it’s ridiculous for them to get a Tefillah mark, that how could anyone possibly know what their thinking when they daven. And that’s what turns them off from wanting to go to minyan and davening.

Then when a child brings home a Chumash test with a 50 on it, the parent would yell at them, “how can you do this to me!”. Then once the parent starts off in a negative tone the child blocks out everything being heard, so even if you say a good thing afterwards, they won’t hear it. This is what knocks down their self esteam. So rather than yelling at them for getting a bad mark, look over their test, show them the answers they got right, and say “wow, this one was a hard one, harder than the one’s you got wrong”. This way their self esteam is built up and next time they will do even better.

Another thing he said which I thought was a great idea was about Brachos. He said before he gives a speech his wife gives him a bracha of Hatzlacha. Before his children have a test at school they each give a bracha to each other to do well. Now what’s so great about this? It connects everyone. This way a wife who usually knows nothing about her husbands daf yomi learning, becomes involved. Because she gave a bracha that her husband should do well in learning, when he comes home she will ask him “how did the learning go?”.

Also, the Shabbos table shouldn’t be a long drasha from the father. But rather each kid should say a little d’var torah. He told a bunch of stories. One of them was about this guy who was able to speak in public to lots of people, and people would question him how was he able to stand up in front of so many people. So he said that when he was younger, every kid in his family would put together a little skit Friday nights, and he would perform in front of his parents, and he thinks this helped him to not be afraid of speaking in front of large groups. So the parent has the ability to raise the kids self esteem so they won’t need to take public speaking classes.

He said he was asked to speak at “Judas Place” where they have at risk kids. He came and this 14 year old girl started cursing out G-d saying how much she hated G-d. So then he said how this kid having anger towards G-d was a great thing, because she recognized there was a G-d out there, so that was the first step. Once she acknowledged that, turning the anger into love was easy.

Then he said he bought himself a “kiruv car” a cool car with 479 horse power. He was driving to the country and needed oil put in. So he figured since it’s an expensive car it probably needs the expensive synthetic oil. So he started putting it in. Then this guy comes over to him and says “Do you know what your doing, did you read the manual? If you put in that oil the car is going to explode!”. He takes out the manual from the glove compartment and reads it, and sees that yes the car would have exploded that he needs to put in WD 150. So he got saved.

Now this is also a great mashul, Hashem created us and didn’t expect us to figure out how to survive on our own. But rather he gave us a manual- The Torah. Now just like you wouldn’t think you know better than GM, and would trust their manual. Same you shouldn’t think you know better than Hashem. He created us, so of course it would follow suit that we should learn the Torah and follow what it says.

Now getting back to the Mishnah, it says in the Torah that we are created from dust and to dust we will go again. So now this seems contradictory to the whole tzelem elokim thing. Wouldn’t this make someone depressed to think they are nothing? So the answer goes like this. We are created from (I forgot the Hebrew word) a man’s thing where one out of 2 million makes it, and that’s what we are made from. So we came into this world where we already went through a struggle, so it’s reminding us where we came from, we came from the one cell that made it.

So to when faced with an avaira we should remember how we made it before, where we came from, and that should stop us from doing the Avaira. Then also to remember where we are going to. A rotted seed that’s put into the earth looks like nothing will grow from it, but yet a plant comes from it. Same too, we have techias hameisim. So really it’s not that we are nothing, but rather it’s reminding us of our potential, and how great we are so we shouldn’t sin.

I went to the shiur with my father, so afterwards it was raining outside again while we walked home. So as we walked back we were talking about the shiur, how much we loved it, hence the title “Singing in the Rain” - Singing the joyous words of Torah we just heard. I tried to remember as much as I could. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. I really love chinuch speeches, where people have a positive approach to dealing with kids.

Congrats Grad!

As most of you know, I actually graduated! Previously, I had been concerned about passing my classes and contemplated davening for it all to work out. Well, I didn’t end up davening, but I did do some learning, so perhaps in the zechus of the learning I was able to pass my classes and graduate. I would like to thank Leora, Shorty and Auror for their confidence in me!

My love’s family brought over balloons and a teddy bear, saying congratulations.

View Full Album

May 28th was graduation, and lucky us it rained that day! It was the first time in 23 years that it rained during graduation. They gave us paper towels to wipe our seats with, but we sat there for 2 hours with the rain pouring down on us. Chuck Shumer said there’s now a 2,500 tax credit for graduates and college students earning less than $200,000. He said he won’t be giving a speech because of the rain, that made everyone happy. From those that did speak, it was really cool how they talked about Twitter and Facebook! So different from HS graduation!

My mother got me a graduation teddy bear. She also bought me a cake that says congratulations on it, it was pretty and all. We also went out to eat on Rosh Chodesh and then again on my graduation day!

When I came home from graduation I was reading the program they gave us, and I saw in the back it said the origins for wearing caps and gowns. It said that it originated from the monks and churches. That makes me wonder if it’s okay to wear it.

Now that I’m done with school everyone is asking me what my plan is and what I’m doing next. For the moment I feel as though I just want to relax and do nothing! But no one seems to understand that, they think I need to start working right away. So let the job seeking begin!

First though I plan to learn how to drive and get my license, then I have to study for the CPA. Those are my 2 main goals, I’m not anxious to find a job yet, since so long as I live with my parents I don’t really need to pay for much. But then again it could help to save up money now while I’m not committed to a family and all.

My Torah Filled Weekend

Shabbos I walked with my father and brother to R’ Landaus shul to hear R’ Fishel Shechter give a shiur on Pirkei Avos. I’ve always associated him with the “funny”/annoying voices he used when telling stories to children. But here I heard him speak to adults and thank goodness he used his normal speaking voice. Sunday, I got to see my first hachasos sefer Torah. Monday, I went to a shiur by R’ Veiner on the topic of Shvous.

Shabbos, R’ Fishel Shechter spoke about Pirkei Avos. I agreed with most of what he said. There was one topic though that I did not agree with him about. He made some good points about parents needing to spend more time with their children. He said families should have supper together during the week more often. He said parents should take some time to shmooze with their children. That on Shabbos parents shouldn’t lock themselves in their room for 7 hours and expect their children to keep themselves busy without getting into trouble. He said you have to give them some sort of structure, that children will get bored after a while. He also made a good point about how parents that are divorced will pay millions of dollars to gain visitation rights with their children, and here you have married couples who have their children right there and yet don’t spend any time with them.

There was one thing he spoke about though that I did not agree with, and that was about Internet. He said its very dangerous and all. But yet, I think that hiding things from children isn’t the answer. We live in a society where children can’t be sheltered from the parents. If a child doesn’t have something at home they will go elsewhere to find it. The key is to raise your child with the right values and morals. To instill in them what is right and wrong. To educate them on what is out there, and how we are different and special. If a parent gives their children the right tools, then having internet or not will not make a difference. There’s so many ways to get things done, that internet is not the only route, it is just a means, not an end.

Sunday, I went with my sister to see the hachnasos sefer torah. I always get such a good feeling when I hear Jewish music in the streets. It’s like this is mine, I belong to this. It was cool to see a pretty truck looking thing with a Torah on it and lights and all kinds of flashy things driving through the street with lots of men and children following it.

Monday, R’ Veiner first spoke about Tefillin, how there’s some problem going on. Me not being a man, didn’t pay much attention to it. Although I found it interesting to see all these women peeking down to see what he was talking about. Makes me think they are such tzadeikeses, and reminds me of my HS teachers. Every time I see a women at a shiur that has such a look and is all into learning Torah and all, it reminds me of my HS teachers. It’s interesting, cause no one in my neighborhood is like that, so its like entering two different worlds.

Anyways, he spoke about Shvous how it’s a yom din, that we have to evaluate where we have fallen short in Talmud Torah. He acknowledged that there were women there, and he said this is an obligation on women too. That Talmud Torah is the women’s key into getting into Olam Habbah. He said that through marriage a women has to motivate her husband to learn, but yet she shouldn’t be his mashgiach. But rather it’s important for the guy to have his own Rav, so that she can go to the Rav to push him to learn, so that there are no Shalom Bayis problems.

In theory this might sound good, but I don’t like the way it sounds. To me I think Husband and wife should have good communication to discuss everything with each other. If the wife feels like she has to get a 3rd party involved, then to me it sounds like the marriage doesn’t have a good foundation. But yet I understand the merit of having someone else being “the bad guy”, but yet if the husband knows that the wife tattled on him, then wouldn’t the husband get more upset at the wife? Plus I don’t think the wife should constantly have to push her husband to learn, it makes it into a business relationship. Rather I think if the husband understood the importance of learning then he should want to do it on his own, if he really wants to but yet is getting distracted, then maybe the wife can motivate him and talk nicely to him and get him to learn that way. But overall, I think the husband should want to learn on his own and the wife should just encourage him a bit, but not boss him around and decide how much he has to learn.

He said you should make a project to learn with others, and to start off with just 10 minutes, and that it will grow from there. He said a Rav can’t be on top of every one to learn, so this way if each person found another person to learn with then it would work out better.

Now, after reading all this it might make you think “what’s so important about Torah after all?” Well, here’s the answer, if someone is anchored in Torah then all their other Yetzer Horas fall away. Now it finally makes sense why so much emphasis is put on Limud Torah, because it allows us to be better Jews.

He said that the point isn’t to be learning 24/7, but rather to have that as your priority, of what you wish to be doing. So you see, people don’t have to learn in Kollel to keep the mitzvah of learning Torah. But rather you can work and make a parnassah. The main point is that you want to learn. So that if you have free time, you grab the opportunity to learn, that shows that everything you are doing is really for Torah.

Also, when I think of learning, I always think of men with their gemorahs. But really, that’s not what its all about. Any form of learning counts, whether that’s an artscroll gemorah, or listening to shiurim on an iPod.

Now learning Torah has side benefits too, so that if you are stuck in traffic, or delayed, instead of getting frantic that you are late. You sit there and listen to a shiur or learn something. You save yourself from anxiety, since now you just got an opportunity to learn, so the inconvenience became a convenience.

An important thing to remember is that bad learning experiences in Yeshiva or anywhere else should not turn a person off from learning, but rather they should move on and continue learning.

Here’s one topic I disagreed with. He said that a mall is pritzus so men shouldn’t go there. At first I thought that was radical, and there’s nothing wrong with going to a mall. My naaive way of thinking of it, is that Hashem created men and women who will have a zivug that is right for them, and that is the one they will be attracted to. So that if men see other women, that is not their wife then they should not be attracted by the other lady. That only their wife can attract them which is why they are married. I mean the husband picked that wife out of everybody, so that should mean that she’s the one for him, so that other ladies shouldn’t matter. So it shouldn’t matter if he sees other ladies who “in their haste in the morning forgot to get dressed”, it shouldn’t cause him any bad thoughts, he should be able to ignore it.

Perhaps I’m crazy, and my way of thinking doesn’t make sense. Maybe, it doesn’t work like that, and men do have temptations for other women that they aren’t married to. Well if that’s the way it works, then okay, I agree that men should avoid seening pritzusdik women and avoid going to the mall.

Sefiras Haomer

There are 7 sefiros which are the seven midos that Hashem uses, the more we develop them the more similar we become to Hashem, and then we have proper receptors for the Torah.

1- Chesed 2- Gevurah 3- teferes 4- netzach 5- hod 6- yesod 7- Malchos

Chesed- outpouring of goodness

1. Hashem takes care of us, our hearts beat, we breath.
2. we should look out for other people, be an active doer, see how you can help others, what do they need.
3. Avraham was proactive in Chesed, he built his tent with 3 doors so people can find him from all over.

Gevurah- strength, an inner strength to control myself

1. When we deserve punishment Hashem gives us a chance to improve, Hashem wants to do for you, but he holds himself back so that you can learn to make bechira choices and develop your self.
2. we should hold ourselves back and don't respond in an inappropriate way to people pushing our buttons.
3. Yitzchak by the Akeda restrained himself so that he won't stop the knife.

Teferes- glory, beauty, Emes, Harmony, well balanced.

1. Hashem has chesed and gevurah, balance, knowing when to give and when to restrain.
2. We have to have a balance within our personality when to do and when to hold back. Emes- everything is correct, being true to ourselves. Having integrity and consistency- being the same wherever we our.
3. Yaakov, when he lived with Yitzchak he was a tzadik then when he lived with lavon he didn't compromise his principals. He didn't have an easy life, in all the situations he though of what is the Emes thing to do.

Netzach- eternity/win

1. Hashem doesn't just decide what is good now, but rather long term, what is good for me as a person.
2. When we make choices in our day we should see if it will get us to our goal. Don't give up cause long term we will see its good for us.
   (Ex: we clean the house for a pleasant environment. While cleaning the floor, a kid comes home all muddy, you are about to get angry and scream- that becomes an unpleasant environment. You loose the Netzach, you have to think for the purpose- Pleasantness. See how much diff will it make long term.)
   a) learn about the complexity of the human body- so not stuck in the moment
   b) meditate about own past history- brought to where you are now
   c) meditate about yourself standing with everyone in your community then broaden the picture more to all people of Bnei Ysiroel then broaden it to everyone in the world, then imagine all the galaxies -- This gives us a broader picture.
3. Moshe gave us the torah with instructions on how to put eternal meaning into every moment of life.

Hod- glory, thankfulness, admit. When we are thankful we feel the glory in the object.

1. Notice the small goodness others or Hashem are doing in my life- feeling thankful, Hakaras Hatov- recognizing the good.
2. necessity- when we have something we don't feel the joy but when there's a lack we feel the pain. Luxury- when we don't have something we have no pain, but when we get it then there's joy. The more stuff we claim are luxuries then the more joy we will have in our life.
   a) Say thanks to people for the small things they do.
   b) when we say brachos think about all the work that went into each piece of cake.
   c) When hashgacha pratis happens say a perek of tehillim
   d) when see a beautiful scenery it should be a motivation and acknowledge Hashem.
   e) keep a journal of the HP in your life
3. Aharon saw the goodness in others so then there was peace.

Yesod- basic foundation.

1. a)eating, sleeping- physical- vivid, real immediate, don't last, only there at the moment. b) aesthetic pleasure - beautiful music, paintings, scenery, doesn't change who I am as a person unless we use the motivation to change ourselves. c) connection- relationship with others or Hashem. (a baby needs this deepest level, needs touch) this is Yesod of who we are, we seek a connection with Hashem.
2. make sure the connection between males and females is spiritual. Men- Shmiras Ainayim. Woman- how much are we calling outside attention to ourselves, have a consideration for others, we don't want to create a temptation that he doesn't want. have a sense of self from the inside.
3. Yosef had the biggest temptation, he was interested, it was so difficult to control himself, but he held himself back, he used the image of his father, someone he respected so much, and then asked himself how would he feel in front of him if he acted this way. We should think of a role model and how we would feel in front of his person if we acted this way.

Malchos - kingship

1. focus on making Hashem my king in every moment of the day, feel His presence in everything I do.
2. Hashem is pouring a shefa of life experiences we go thru, we should take these life experiences and filter them thru the torah, how would the torah want us to deal with it. If not the torah then the eyes of a Rabbi. Whatever is being poured down the goal is to crown hashem with it, elevate it to make hashem my king thru this life Experience
3. Dovid had life challenges, he teaches Benei Yisroel to do Yeshuva thru that, he composed tehilim, how to make Hashem Melech in every life experience.

The next day is shevuous when we are ready to receive the torah, which tells us how to connect with Hashem in every life experience.

Parshas Ki Sisa

A little while ago I remember coming upon lots of blog posts where people were talking about one thing, and that was “money”. It seemed as though it was the common language that everyone understood. The drive behind people’s actions were based on how much money they would get out of it. This didn’t feel right to me, that a person should lie and cheat to get money.

Something To Say:

This shall they give… a half shekel (30:13)

This parshah speaks of the contributions that were made to the Mishkan. The use of the word Zeh,this, implied that something was actually shown to the listener. Rabbi Meir explained that God removed a coin of fire from beneath His holy throne and said to Moses, “Let the people give a coin such as this.”

It is interesting that the metaphoric coin was made of fire. The Noam Eliezer comments that one must realize that money is like fire. If fire is misused, it can destroy, but it can also be used constructively, to prepare food or to provide warmth. Money also has this double potential: If used for mitzvos, it can be a conduit of great blessings. But if a person keeps his money exclusively for himself and spends it foolishly and wrongly, it can cause great destruction.

So Money isn’t all that good, there’s two sides to it. Like everything in life it can be used for good and for bad. To use money for mitzvos and other worthy things then it can be a great tool. But if used solely for one self it can be destructive. Money isn’t meant to be hoarded for oneself, but rather used additionally for mitzvos and good things. A person should make decisions based on if the action is right or wrong and not based on how much money they will get out of it.

Parshas Tetzaveh

I remember learning that men have the obligation to study Torah day and night. That literally it doesn’t mean they have to be in Kollel all the time, but that in their free time they should learn. We also learned that by men saying Kriyas Shema in the morning and night it fulfills their obligation of Torah study. I never understood how this can be. But now I finally got my answer.

Something to Say:

Pure olive oil…to Kindle the lamps continuously (27:20)

R’ Yochanan says in the name of R’ Shimon bar Yochai that by reciting Krias Shema in the morning and the evening a person fulfills the dictum that Torah study should never depart from one’s mouth. The Chiddushei HaRim asks: How can the recitation of Krias Shema, which takes only a few minutes, fulfill the obligation of Keeping Torah on one’s lips perpetually?

His answer connects R’ Shimon bar Yochai’s statement to the words of this verse, to kindle the lamp continuously. How long did it take the Kohen to light the Menorah? only a few moments, but since it was lit with such great devotion and enthusiasm, it became a light that lasted all day. Similarly, although the recitation of Krias Shema takes but a few minutes, when said with concentration and enthusiasm its effects last the entire day.

Even though the recitation of Shema only lasts a few minutes, when said with Kavannah and devotion it can have a long lasting effect which is so great, that its as if your involved with Torah study the whole time. Obviously this can only work with those that truly understand what they are saying in the words of Shema.

Parshas Yisro

In HS I was one of those good students that listened in class. I believed everything the teacher said, throughout my years. If the teacher said something, their greater than me and are the authority and therefore have to be right. There were some parts which I disagreed with Ex: Kollel. But other than that everything they said got absorbed in me.

Something To Say:

Blessed is Hashem, Who has rescued you from the hand of Egypt (18:10).

When Yisro heard of all the miracles God performed for the Jews, he left his home in Midian to join them in the desert. As Moses related to his father-in-law all that God had done, Yisro blessed Hashem. Why did Yisro bless Hashem for the miracles only after he heard them again from Moses, and not earlier?

The Midrash explains that what one hears from a teacher cannot be compared to what one hears from a student. And while they may be the same stories concerning the same miracles, their effect is not nearly as strong when heard by a simple Jew than when heard by a holy individual. Thus, when the stories were told by Moses, and heard by a man of Yisro’s stature, their effect was much greater than before.

See I’m not crazy for having believed what I was taught from teachers. It’s natural to believe the teachers over the students. Just like Yisro was able to believe Moshe because he was the holy teacher.

Parshas Beshalach

So it’s been a week without any posts. I have ideas sitting in draft waiting for me to write about them. Today with the help and motivation of another, I decided to do some cooking. I didn’t make as much as last time though.  So I made chullent, chicken soup and Pepper steak. While I was cutting up the peppers, I found that the red pepper was pregnant. Lion Of Zion had found a pregnant pepper too one time, and he came up with the idea of it being a segulah, it sounded like a good one. Anyways, here’s the picture of my pregnant pepper:

Now onto the Parsha, this week happens to be my bar mitzvah parsha, in that when I was 13 it was my brothers bar mitzvah parsha. Now this Parsha deals with seeing suffering and crying out. I always feel bad when I see people in pain, and always want to help them out. There was one case, however where I didn’t find myself crying, and I felt guilty for it. It was when my principal was niftar, everyone was crying when they heard the news. I remembered him a bit from when I was younger, and I had some fond memories of him, but I didn’t feel sad enough to cry, I wasn’t that attached to him. But then after seeing everybody else cry, it made me feel guilty about not crying, so I cried because of that.

Something To Say:

Hashem said to Moses, “Why do you cry out to Me?” (14:15).

As Pharaoh and all of his officers pursued the Jews after they left Egypt, God reassured Moses that the Egyptians would shortly drown in the Red Sea.

Why in truth did Moses cry out? Certainly he knew that God was going to fulfill His promise and that the Jews would be victorious. The Sfas Emes answers that Moses had such great love for the Jewish people that when he saw their great distress during the Egyptial pursuit, he could not restrain himself from crying to God on their behalf. It was not a lack of faith, but a spontaneous, protective instinct that prompted him to call out for help for his beloved flock. Such deep caring cannot help but manifest itself in a heartfelt reaction.

So crying is a good thing, it shows you care deeply about the person, and you love them. Crying doesn’t show a lack of faith. Even though you know that Hashem is doing what’s best, you are still allowed to cry.

Parshas Bo

First off I would like to thank some bloggers. Stacy, Tembow, Leora, and another- you know who you are. (MM- Shh!). You all made me so happy this week. Stacy and Tembow thanks so much for your offers. Leora, your comment on Facebook was so nice, it made my day. Thank you Frayda, KT and Frum Punk too, for your comments that other time. I appreciate all your kind words.

I just came back from a Bar Mitzvah, where the boy gave a thank you speech and was thanking a lot of people, so I guess it’s contagious. But I really appreciate you all so much, you make me so happy!

This week instead of typing from “something to say”, I will tell over some Divrei Torah I learned in my Jewish classics class last semester. As I was sitting in shul, following a long with the Leining, I recognized some pesukim that my professor had brought up. It was about the Karbon Pesach. She mentioned how there are contradictions when you compare it to the other time it mentions the Karbon Pesach in the Torah. We then looked at Rashi to come up with an answer.

In Parshas Bo in Shemos and Parshas Re’eh in Devorim it talks about the Karbon Pesach. There are 3 main contradictions. One is the type of animal to be used in the Pesach offering, another is how this Karbon should be prepared, and another is how many days we should eat Matzos.

1. Rashi – Bakar (Devarim 16:2), here it says you should slaughter cattle. But in Parshas Bo, it says Sheep, so which one is it? The answer is that it’s talking about sheep as the main offering, but that they should eat cattle first to be in a state of fullness when they eat the Pesach offering.
   


2. Rashi – You Shall cook it (Devorim 16:7), here it says cook it, and in Parshas Bo it says Roast it, so which is it? The answer is that this means roasting by fire, that this too is termed cooking.
   


3. Rashi – For a six day period you shall eat matzos (Devorim 16:8), here it says 6 days, but in Bo it says 7 days, so which is it? The answer is a deep one which teaches us through a Yotzei min Haklal, that the 7th day is not an obligation to eat matzah, and therefore the 6 days aren’t either an obligation, but rather optional. The only night that is an obligation is the first night, since it says “In the evening shall you eat matzos” (in Shemos 12:18).

Parshas Shemos

So every blog is talking about the Gaza war in Israel, but whenever I see it in a blog I just skip over it. For some reason I just don’t have the interest in reading it. Same with news of all other major events. But yet I get the information by reading headlines, tweets, and status’s. I feel as though I really should have more interest in it, because I do care about what happens in Israel and to other Jews, I want them to be safe.

Something To Say:

But as much as they would afflict it, so it would increase and so it would spread out (1:12)

The Ohr HaChaim wonders why the pasuk uses the future tense here - “but as much as they would afflict”, rather than “but as much as they afflicted”. This indicates that the Jewish nation would be persecuted in the future, but that the outcome would be the same as in the verse: “So it would increase and so it would spread out”. The message is that regardless of who would afflict Israel, the persecution would never be devastating; in fact, the Jews would always emerge stronger than before.

So this is my contribution to posting about the Gaza war. A comforting post. In the end the Jews will win and come out stronger. Hashem takes care of it all, we will survive and succeed.

Parsha in the blogosphere:

Leora, last year discussed why Shemos is her daughter’s favorite Parsha, what “Ki Tov” means, and what the word “Suf” alludes to. This year she discusses Galus Mitzrayim and how the Parshas now shift from talking about individuals to talking about a group of people.

Shorty, discusses lessons on marriage we can learn from Parshas Shemos. How the woman took care of their husbands, and believed in Hashem by having children.

The Cool Jew, posts a video from G-Dcast on Parshas Shemos.

Yoni, Discusses Geula in Parshas Shemos, and how the Jews have to unite to bring Geula.

Parshas Vayigash

For this weeks Parsha I was going to finally use the sefer my great grandfather wrote. There was just a little problem it was all in Hebrew. I figured I would try to see if I can read through the Hebrew, but it was too much for me. Maybe I’ll ask my father during the week to help me read through it, so that I can learn something from it.

I actually already wrote a Parsha post earlier this week in my Meme post, but I didn’t get to write the whole thing. So here it is:

Something To Say:

It will happen that when [Jacob] sees that the youth [Benjamin] is missing he will die (44:31).

In this parshah, Judah confronts Joseph, the viceroy of Egypth, who is unrecognized by his brothers, about the impending captivity of Benjamin the youngest.

R’ Menachem Mendel of Kotzk asks: Why did Judah worry only about Jacob’s distress? What about Benjamin’s wife and 10 children – why was Judah not worried that they, too would die because of their pain? The Kotzker explains that we learn from this verse that a child does not experience suffering for a parent to the extent that a parent suffers for a child’s pain.

I’ve never heard this before, and it was completely new to me. After reading this I thought to myself, that it makes sense for it to be like that, cause normally parents die first, and that’s why it’s so cruel when Natzi’s threatened to kill the parents children in front of the parent’s eyes.

Leora talks about Serach in her Parsha post, about how she relayed over the news that Yosef is still alive to Yaakov in gentle manner by saying it in a rhyme or with a harp. It reminded me of Parshas Vayishlach where the opposite happened and Timna was rejected in a not nice way.

The Power Of Blogs!

You know how they say that everything can be used for good? well I finally experienced the greatness of what blogs can do.

Recently I had decided to finally write a “meme” post. Now since I hadn’t written it right away when others have wrote it, it had started a whole new chain. I put together 2 meme’s in one, a combination no other blogger had done before. Then I check at those who had done the meme, and almost all had done that same combination! An amazing thing, the feeling of creating. Then I see that other blogs I have tagged were tagging others too, so that it spread to so many people, people I would have wanted to tag.

The lessons I learned from this:

1. Blogs let you experience what it’s like to create something. It’s such an amazing feeling to know you have started and created something so great.
   
   Now you can imagine the greatness of Hashem our creator, and how much we owe Him for the amazing things He has created that we get to benefit from.
   
2. Blogs show you the amazing chain event of one action, how it can spread to so many.
   
   With such an amazing ability to spread something so fast, that takes an action, now you can start a mitzvah chain on blogosphere and have so many participants in it.
   
3. Blogs show you how things can change as they are passed down.

• The Power of Loshon Hora, rumors are always changing, and you may not even recognize your creation.
  
• On the Positive side, the uniqueness of every person, how every person can look at the same set of instructions and yet all have different results. Each person has a tzelem elokim, with their own tachlis in life to accomplish. We are all given the same Torah, but everyone’s lives are different in how we serve Hashem.

Thank You to those who have participated in the Meme and helped me come to these observations.

Frum College Girl's Meme
Frum Punk's Meme
Frum Skeptic's Meme
Jessica's Meme
Material Maidel's Meme
Mike In Midwood's Meme
NMF#7's Meme
Shorty's Meme
Tembow’s Meme
TooYoungToTeach's Meme

In addition, those which my taggee’s have tagged that had done the meme:

Moshe’s Meme
Frum Female’s Meme
Torat Ezra’s Meme
Childish Behavior’s Meme
Ricki’s Mom’s Meme
G6’s Meme
Katrina's Meme
Lakewood Falling Down's Meme
Baal Tshuva Slowly's Meme
DYS's Meme
Smoo's Meme
On Her Own's Meme

“Why I believe in being a Religious Jew”

I found this Facebook note from a Facebook Friend of mine, Eli Klatsky, and after reading it, I thought it was a perfect first hand follow up on my encounters with OTD people post. Copied with permission from Eli Klatsky. (A few minor edits by me).

“Judaism

People often question my belief in the torah, Judaism, and mitzvoth. They don’t understand my love for my life and for God, and for learning. They tell me that a person like myself doesn’t become more religious without losing my personality. So I must not be sincere. Interesting. Thanks everyone. Your kind words of inspiration and motivation go a long way.

Yes, I became more religious in the past year and a half. It’s not because I hit my head and my brains fell out. No one brainwashed me. I didn’t go to an NCSY Shabbaton and all of a sudden everything was clear to me. I took things one step at a time. I didn’t set any goals, and I made no commitments. I just followed my soul in the direction it was dragging me into. If you really want to know what triggered it, you can ask. But its really not that important. So please, don’t tell me I don’t know anything about Judaism, don’t tell me I’m fake. Stop challenging me in my beliefs. If you don’t want to be religious that is fine with me but why do you have to start up with me on it because I want to be? You are not changing me, I love Judaism, and I love learning torah. Its always been that way and its not going to change.

On the positive side, many people ask me a lot of questions about why I am religious, what it means to me, and why I think other people should be religious.

So here are my thoughts on being a torah following Jew.
I had people at my house for Shabbat this week. Two young men in their twenties. Both from very frum yeshivas, both wearing button down shirts and black kippot. After our huge meal I suggested we all take a walk together (I’ve known both of them for a while) and so we did. We get across the street from my house and out comes the cigarettes and lighter. I found this situation humorous. I used to do the same thing when I was sixteen… here are these grown men looking to get married looking to start their lives, acting like a sixteen year old angry girl. They then proceeded to check out the bars, and decided on going to the movies instead. I went home. But first I took a long walk in the slush and snow to get my thoughts together.

What is it about Judaism that makes us not want to keep it. Millions of answers are given. I’m telling you there is only one answer and it is that – we just plain don’t want too.

There are other reasons given that seem to make a lot of sense so I will go through them and explain why I think they are wrong.

1- The laws are too hard. Ok even if we agree that the laws are difficult, how do we explain for almost 6000 years of people being able to keep them. Even in the concentration camps and in communist Russia, Jews still tried to keep Shabbat and kosher and paid for it, we on the other hand just throw it away.

2- There is no God. We live in a beautiful world with amazing things happening at all times. How does a tree grow? How is a baby born, the human heart & circulatory system work? Who watches out for us when we are in danger (no atheist in a foxhole) and who do we thank when things go right. Trust me, I have seen my mom in the hospital too many times, myself get out of too many near death experiences, and coincidence after coincidence has left me unable to deny God. Don’t make him have to show you in this way also.

3- My school, Shul, Rabbi, camp, parents… ok, so I happen to agree with this one the most. Yet still do not believe it actually makes someone not want to be a good Jew, rather its an excuse used to display how the person really feels inside. Even if your parents, school or anyone is pressuring you and pushing and you feel like you just cant take it anymore- you still have the ability to surround yourself with different Rabbis, and different people who can help you. You also have the ability to shut yourself out from what they are saying. But most people don’t do this. In fact most people listen vey carefully waiting to hear something that angers them.

4- It just doesn’t make sense. I don’t believe in religion. I’m yet to hear or come up with a good answer for this one all I can say is.. Pretty admirable that you don’t believe in something that people have believed in one way or another since the creation of time. (idolatry, sun god, river god, Christianity, Buddhism and Islam are all forms of religions) good luck with that one.

5- It is more fun to be not religious. Meh. Been there, done that. Not really that much more fun. Non-kosher food isn’t that much better, having a Saturday with no work isn’t really that oppressing, and waiting until marriage to screw a boy really isn’t the end of the world. Are there fun times when you’re not religious. Of course there are, there are fun times when you do anything. Your life is in your hands, its not really so cool to blame religion for your lack of ability to have a good time.

6- I don’t feel any connection with Judaism, it doesn’t mean anything to me. R’ Nachman of Breslov had this problem. His solution was that he immersed in a freezing mikveh every morning, meditated, learned ridiculous amounts in a day, and prayed, prayed, prayed crying to God to help him. He became one of the most spiritual Tzadikim, who is an inspiration to all those looking for spirituality in his life. OK that’s a little extreme for us now a days, but in the Siddor, in birchat ha Shachar- morning blessings there is a a paragraph- Ailu Devarim- these are the things. And it says these are the things that a man enjoys in this world, and remains intact with him in the world to come. They are. Honoring your mother and father, acts of loving kindness, being early in the beit midrash, having guests, visiting the sick, providing for a bride, escorting the dead, absorbing yourself for pray, bringing peace between two men…vi Talmud torah kineged kulam= and torah study is like all of them. Work on these.

7- My life just sucks so much I cant believe in God and Religion. First, analyze if your life actually sucks. Chances are you’re being a little over dramatic. And again, an excuse for how you really feel inside- you just don’t want to keep Judaism. But if you are really suffering I don’t have an answer for this. If this is you, I’m sorry your life sucks if you want to talk about it, give me a call or something.

So this all comes down to one thing. People don’t keep Judaism because they JUST PLAIN DON’T WANT TOO. In this world today where we are in control of almost every thing in our lives. Its hard to serve something we cant see, touch, hear. It’s even harder to serve something that doesn’t enforce us. There are no lightning bolts, there are no repercussions. There is only your soul, and the damage you do to it. make good decisions. Learn from the bad ones.

Please, smile, and be happy with your life. HaShem loves you.

Also I’m really sorry I don’t mean to offend anyone with this.”

Parshas Vayishlach

First off, this weeks Parsha was my older brothers Bar Mitzvah parsha so I remember him practicing leining it and I got to learn the story that way. The main part I remember is Yaakov Greeting Eisav. There’s a song that pops into my head when I think of this weeks parsha. It’s a song I learned as a kid, and I see now the children are still learning the same song. A song from 613 Torah Avenue. Although I only had remembered 4 of the lines of the chorus, and hadn’t recognized the rest of the song.

Something To Say:

I have sojourned with Laban (32:5)

When Jacob sent messengers to his brother Esau, he told them to relay the above message to his brother. Rashi comments that the word Garti in this verse has the numerical value of 613, which is also the number of mitzvos in the Torah. By using this word, Jacob was alluding to Esau, “I dwelt with Laban and kept the Mitzvos; I did not learn from his bad deeds.” The simple meaning of this statement is that even someone on the high spiritual level of Jacob could have been influenced negatively in the environment of a Laban; it was a substantial accomplishment that he withstood the test of living with the evil and dishonest laban.

I learned 2 great lessons from this. One the lesson of “don’t believe in yourself till the day you die”. That even Yaakov on such a high level had to worry about not getting influenced from Lavan. That no matter how strong you think you are, you can fall into the trap, so you have to be careful. Second is that it was considered a great accomplishment for him to have still kept the 613 mitzvos with lavan. Shows that no matter how great the person you still have to acknowledge when they did a great thing. That it wasn’t taken for granted that Yaakov will for sure keep the 613 mitzvos.

Another great lesson learned, is that even if you are right in what you are doing, you still have to do it in a nice way, otherwise it may come back and haunt you. Like where Timna was rejected in a not nice way, and then Amelak came from her and was an enemy to the Jews.