Monday, January 5, 2009

A DMC with A Strange Married Woman

I just had a random chat conversation today with a girl I don’t know that I have once chatted with before months ago. It sounded so strange to me. I’m not married so I wouldn’t know, but it doesn’t sound like she has a happy Marriage. Since I already posted one aim conversation, I think I got addicted to posting chat conversations, they are just so strange. (But don’t worry bloggers, I won’t post any conversation with you)

Married Woman”: hey
“Babysitter”: hey long time no speak
Married Woman”: i know
how are u?

“Babysitter”: I'm good, you?
Married Woman”: u there
“Babysitter”: yea
Married Woman”: so what have u been up to
”Babysitter”: not much, on vacation from school now. what about you?
Married Woman”: same old
did u go anywhere

”Babysitter”: nope, didn't go anywhere. taking it easy
how was chanukah?

Married Woman”: bh it was nice

”Babysitter”: that’s good, ours was nice too, had a bunch of chanukah parties
Married Woman”: nice
met any hot guys so u can make me jealous

”Babysitter”: lol, nope, not yet. How's your husband doing?
Married Woman”: he’s good
y not

”Babysitter”: that’s good
I've gone out on dates. But none successful yet
Married Woman”: were they shidduch dates
”Babysitter”: yea
Married Woman”: nice
did any of them ever look like they wanted to pounce u
i had a couple of those

”Babysitter”: lol, nope, none of those
they were good guys

Married Woman”: oh darn

”Babysitter”: lol, did u enjoy dating?
Married Woman”: i loved it
but i also wasn’t shomer so its dif

”Babysitter”: ahh I see
Married Woman”: ure shomer right
”Babysitter”: yea
when did you stop becoming shomer?

Married Woman”: i dont know how u do it
in high school
”Babysitter”: aha, so you had a boy friend back then?
I went to a very frum HS so I never talked to boys

Married Woman”: which one

”Babysitter”: ******
Married Woman”: oh i c
so u never did anything with a guy

”Babysitter”: right
Married Woman”: u never wanted to growing up
”Babysitter”: well I knew I wasn't allowed to, so it was out of the question
Married Woman”: wow that’s a lot of control
but u wanted to
did u ever check out the guys

”Babysitter”: nope
Married Woman”: y not
”Babysitter”: cause it wasn't allowed?
Married Woman”: gotcha
so if no one wud find out wud u be not shomer now
”Babysitter”: nope, cause then I wouldn't be true to myself. Hashem is watching
Married Woman”: i c
do u feel like u wish u wud have wen u were younger

”Babysitter”: nope, I'm happy with staying Shomer
do u wish u wouldn't have?

Married Woman”: honestly, no
but it wud have been easier on me now if i was though
”Babysitter”: how come?
I mean in what way would it have been easier?

Married Woman”: bc now that i was very active before wen i dont have it nowe i get very u know
”Babysitter”: aha I see
Married Woman”: yup
i go nuts

”Babysitter”: I thought if you ask your husband he has to say yes
Married Woman”: u cant really ask
and that doesnt help wen ure in niddah

”Babysitter”: aha, well how long is that? 2 weeks?
Married Woman”: yeah
but wayyy too long for me
i dont know how u do it
”Babysitter”: well I never did it, so I dunno what I'm missing out on
but I would assume the niddah time can be precious too
there are marriage counseling books that talk about this stuff, and how it can build your relationship
Married Woman”: i know but its not like a problem its just i get very horny
u never get horny

”Babysitter”: well aren't there stuff you can do to help that?
Married Woman”: like wat
hold on i got to get the phone
”Babysitter”: ok

Now I don’t know about you, but this conversation seemed strange to me. I didn’t know people ask such weird questions like that to strangers. I don’t mean for this to be an untznius post or anything.


Frayda said...

whoa!!!! so weird and crazy!!!! I hope she doesn't ever realize you posted this. She might be really embarrassed. Then again, maybe not. Were you uncomfortable with her line of questioning?

The Babysitter said...

So it's not just me that thinks it was weird.

Yea, I don't think I ever told her that I had a blog. If anything last time I chatted with her was in July and back then I only had one blog.

I can imagine her being embarrassed if she read it. I hope she doesn't find it, and I hope she doesn't get embarrassed.

I try to be nice with whoever I chat with and take what they say seriously. So I felt like I had to help her or something. But yea, it was uncomfortable.

Jessica said...

Uh...that was weird. As a married woman I would never divulge such information to someone I rarely spoke to. I rarely even discuss those things with my closest friends. The part though where she said that she can't ask her husband.... um, sounds like they need to work on their communication skills.

The Babysitter said...

Jessica: Yea, I didn't think it was something to be talked about.

I actually thought of that because I came upon feminist Hassidic blog (not sure the name) and a commenter on there said that the husband can't deny the woman.

Yea, it looks like they need to work on communication.

NotaGeek! said...

But at the start of the conversation it looked like you were long time lost friends...

The Babysitter said...

NotaGeek: yea, and that was a woman, I expect better of woman. Men I know already can be weird like that.

I suppose, see I guess you really can't tell things from online.

NotaGeek! said...

And why wouldn't you expect better from men?
Are men held to lower standard in this regard? Shouldn't it be just the opposite, they should be held to higher standard or at least the same....

You should be cautious of any stranger who who discusses his intimate thoughts or actions with another total stranger... Be it men or women you shouldn't categorize, because pervs don't categorize either...

The Babysitter said...

Well I still think it's inapropriate in either case. But I've already had plenty of chats with men who've been I've come to realize some can be really sick. But I've never chatted with a woman like that before.

Actually in real life, I had this married guy- Jewish, in a bunch of my classes. He talked to me about lots of stuff, cause we sat next to each other. Sometimes he spoke about his kid, and sometimes he spoke about intimate stuff with his wife. I thought it was strange that he should be telling me this stuff, but I figured he became desensitized and maybe I'm just too sensitive. Like he said his wife likes to lay down on him on the couch, and that he should massage her hair to help her fall asleep.

NotaGeek! said...

Thanks, that clarifies it somewhat...

rickismom said...

Weird. Really weird. And a real betrayal of her husband's right to privacy.

Anonymous said...

Whoa, way to share, Married Lady. That is pretty open for someone that you don't really know.

My husband and I (who are not frum, but observing more and more) started following taharat mishpachah about a year ago. I think it really adds to our marriage by making us focus on our emotional relationship, as well as our physical relationship.

tembow said...

in my opinion, this lady shared TMI (too much info)

Baal Tshuva Slowly said...

I don't want to disappoint you but there's a website-forum (calm kallahs) with tons of guys and girls having and discussing problems like this. I was shocked for a few days after I happened to read some topics there. You can find "regular BYA girls", married, talking about weirdest things for a frum woman you... But may be not weirdest if to take in count your post about things you saw in someones bedroom...

Commenter Abbi said...

This isn't "weird". Unfortunately, this woman suffers from the all too common problem of an unsatisfying marriage. Clearly there's a lack of communication, but also clearly, she just doesn't have a satisfying sex life and she probably doesn't have anyone to talk about it with because it's "untznius" to talk about it (Guess she doesn't have any really close friends or sisters).

The other possibility is that this is a man pretending to be a frum woman who gets off on talking "dirty" to strange women. This is the internet. I would avoid chatting with strangers if you want to avoid these "weird" conversations.

הצעיר שלמה בן רפאל לבית שריקי ס"ט said...

Whoah, I overlooked this, but this is hilarious! This lady sounds like one of those women from "Sex and the City" (and "no" and don't watch it!).

I thought this was the funniest though, "i get very horny". "well aren't there stuff you can do to help that?"(!). Yes; anti-horny pills! duh ; )

frum single female said...

i think that this woman is a bit over the top.

The Babysitter said...

Ricki'sMom: yea, but I suppose she assumes because I don't know her husband then he still has his privacy.

SellCrazySomeplaceElse: yea, that is the exact thought I was thinking about it. That it lets the couple work on their emotional part of the marriage without the physical.

Tembow: yea, and who knows how far it would have gone had she not went to answer the phone.

BaalTshuvaSlowly: yea, I've heard of that website but haven't checked it out since I'm not a Kallah. So maybe I should tell her about the site so she can gain her answers there.

Which post? what things did I see in a bedroom?

CommenterAbi: That's a good point, that's the way I saw it too. That she just didn't have anyone else to talk to about it.

I believe she's a real woman. After all she did give me some identifying information, and she seems too girly to be a fake. And yea, I think that would be a good idea, to avoid chatting with strangers.

Shlomo: lol

oy vey, it's funny, no matter what I say it always makes me come out naiive sounding. I do know what that word means. But I do think it would be a great help if they can come out with those pills.

FrumSingleFemale: yea could very well possibly be.

Anonymous said...

Oh wow. I guess some people just like sharing. Maybe chatting on the internet just makes people more open as its not face to face.

The Babysitter said...

Frum Punk: yea, I think the internet allows people to be more open.

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