Before I graduated High School, I hadn’t realized the significance of a return card. Then I started hearing classmates talk about if they received return cards with the wedding invitation. I found out it meant that you would be invited for the whole thing, rather than just the dancing, or chupah.
So far 19 of them got married, and I have gotten a return card by almost all of them. I haven’t gone to all the weddings though. Now there are 4 engaged and I recently got two interesting invitations in the mail. These 2 weddings are a day apart. The first wedding’s invitation came with 2 pieces of typed up paper. Now I’ve got plenty of invitations with personal notes, and “can’t wait to dance with you!” But I’ve never gotten these types of messages before.
Dear “Babysitter” Amush,
I would love to invite you to my entire wedding but due to monetary constraints I can only invite you for Simchas Chosson V’Kallah. Your presence would greatly enhance my Simcha.
The Second one said:
Before coming to my Yom HaChupa, I would like to take a moment to ask you for forgiveness for anything that I may have said to hurt you in any way. Please Say out loud you’re Mochel me and may Hashem bench you with much Brocha and Hatzlacha and may we continue to share in each other’s Simchos.
So at first I was thinking to myself, wow that is so thoughtful of her, to actually write that. I’ve never seen somebody express their true wish to have you there for the whole thing, and only money is standing in the way. And that she asked to be forgiven. I thought it was really special.
Then the “yetzer hora” got a hold of me, and I was thinking it was strange, that it’s obvious that because of money issues she wasn’t able to invite the whole grade, that there’s no reason to state it out. That it sort of makes you feel worse about it. Then I started thinking that maybe she sent the second note about forgiveness to makeup for not inviting me to the whole thing. As if it was done subtly in hope that you wouldn’t figure it out.
Then I got the next invitation, which did have a return card, but which also had a forgiveness note, this one was in Hebrew, but basically saying the same thing, so then I figured, wow, it really seems like a special thing. It’s an amazing concept that by a wedding day the Kallah and Chosson get forgiven of all their sins, so here they are acknowledging that, and doing something about it. I was impressed, I think more invitations should have that.
As a side point, I went to a friends vort a couple of weeks ago, and as soon as anyone came in she gave them a hug and took a picture with them. She’s a very mushy type, and she was talking to me about all kinds of stuff, memories that I couldn’t believe she remembered, and I was truly touched.
Then she showed me the flowers her Chosson bought her, and it had a note attached to it, that her Chosson wrote, it was a bracha to her, written in Hebrew. I was amazed by it, I’ve never seen such a thing before. Then I realized what a perfect fit they must be, cause she’s always giving Brachos and Mushy comments to everyone.