Parshas Bo

First off I would like to thank some bloggers. Stacy, Tembow, Leora, and another- you know who you are. (MM- Shh!). You all made me so happy this week. Stacy and Tembow thanks so much for your offers. Leora, your comment on Facebook was so nice, it made my day. Thank you Frayda, KT and Frum Punk too, for your comments that other time. I appreciate all your kind words.

I just came back from a Bar Mitzvah, where the boy gave a thank you speech and was thanking a lot of people, so I guess it’s contagious. But I really appreciate you all so much, you make me so happy!

This week instead of typing from “something to say”, I will tell over some Divrei Torah I learned in my Jewish classics class last semester. As I was sitting in shul, following a long with the Leining, I recognized some pesukim that my professor had brought up. It was about the Karbon Pesach. She mentioned how there are contradictions when you compare it to the other time it mentions the Karbon Pesach in the Torah. We then looked at Rashi to come up with an answer.

In Parshas Bo in Shemos and Parshas Re’eh in Devorim it talks about the Karbon Pesach. There are 3 main contradictions. One is the type of animal to be used in the Pesach offering, another is how this Karbon should be prepared, and another is how many days we should eat Matzos.

1. Rashi – Bakar (Devarim 16:2), here it says you should slaughter cattle. But in Parshas Bo, it says Sheep, so which one is it? The answer is that it’s talking about sheep as the main offering, but that they should eat cattle first to be in a state of fullness when they eat the Pesach offering.
   


2. Rashi – You Shall cook it (Devorim 16:7), here it says cook it, and in Parshas Bo it says Roast it, so which is it? The answer is that this means roasting by fire, that this too is termed cooking.
   


3. Rashi – For a six day period you shall eat matzos (Devorim 16:8), here it says 6 days, but in Bo it says 7 days, so which is it? The answer is a deep one which teaches us through a Yotzei min Haklal, that the 7th day is not an obligation to eat matzah, and therefore the 6 days aren’t either an obligation, but rather optional. The only night that is an obligation is the first night, since it says “In the evening shall you eat matzos” (in Shemos 12:18).

Long Skirts

This is from a long time ago that I just hadn’t posted at the time. I’m posting it now, but it’s no longer geared to any specific person.

I was reading Frum Meet’s World Post about long skirts and it got me thinking. Is it a question of tznius that people are against long skirts? I would say long skirts are more royal looking, and cover more of the leg so they should be tznius.

I like long skirts because I imagine they are like the long flowing gowns people wore in the olden days. Reminds me of like Pride and Prejudice characters and other such classics. I see girls in long skirts to the floor and I love the way it looks. In my opinion it looks better than short skirts, at least for some people. I myself don’t think I look the “best” in long dragging skirts, but I definitely think I look better in long skirts rather than short ones. I do own a few shorter skirts, but I wear them rarely.

At first I thought it was just because of shidduchim that people said I shouldn’t wear long skirts. I understand there’s a whole blog about not giving into doing things just for the sake of shidduchim, but rather to do what defines you even if it is bad for shidduchim. So why can’t I continue to wear long skirts if I like it and feel it’s more “me” than short skirts?

People are always saying how they want to do their own thing and not conform with society. So why here is there a difference? why here does it become distasteful that a person wouldn’t want to associate with someone who wears a dragging skirt? Why can’t it be accepted as something a person likes. People may have different tastes. A person can like short skirts and still not denigrate those who like to wear long ones.

Meme --- Finish The Sentences

Thank you Tembow for tagging me in this meme. I think Meme’s are fun to do, and fun to read, so I don’t mind doing them. I should probably set up a poll asking you what you think of doing Memes. Since it seems like most people don’t like doing memes, and do it reluctantly.

Anyways, this time I won’t tag anyone, since I figure the last meme was a great success and it’s too soon to try to break that record. However, if you would like to do the meme and haven’t been tagged, then feel free to do so, and let me know with a link.

Instructions: Finish The Following 8 Sentences.

1. I wish I could…
2. My biggest fear is…
3. I hate to…
4. I love…
5. Today I will…
6. Yesterday I…
7. My hair is…
8. I will never…

And now for my answers:

1. I wish I could turn the world into a better place, where everyone is good and does the right thing. To get rid of cruelty and “unfairness”.
   
2. My biggest fear is the fear of the unknown. If you have read my other blog, then you know this includes the fear of dogs and special people.
   
3. I hate to do the wrong thing and get on people’s bad side.
   
4. I love My Love, and to be fair, I love Hashem and all the important people in my life.
   
5. Today I will set up a schedule of how long each day I will spend reading and studying. I will also do my first Homework for this semester.
   
6. Yesterday I had my first day of class, a successful one at that B”H!
   
7. My hair is naturally straight, and usually long too, so long as I have a say in it.
   
8. I will never say never.

Jewish Song Sunday --- #12

Barney: I love You (Hebrew)

This song is dedicated to my love. It’s not really a Jewish song, but it’s in Hebrew, so I guess that counts for something. I’ve always loved watching Barney as a kid, and even now I watched a bit in Hebrew and I enjoyed it.

To My Love

I love going to your house.

I love how when you see me coming, you run to me and call out my name.

I love how you make me feel so loved

I love playing with your curly hair

I love holding you

I love feeding you

I love hugging you so tightly cause you’re just so cute

I love taking walks with you

I love feeling your hand in mine

I love how you choose me over everybody

I love when I read you stories

I love singing songs with you

I love playing games with you

I love taking care of you, and things that others call gross, aren’t gross with you

I love when you look me in the eyes

I love putting you to sleep

I love seeing you sleeping in my arms

I love your cute face

I love how when its time for me to go, you start crying and don’t let me leave, and make me stay longer.

I love when you get wild and act like a true boy

I love that your the first boy I ever loved

I love making you happy

I love entertaining you when you’re bored

I love everything about you

I love how much happiness these 2 years have given me

And even though I have a new baby to love, I will always love you too!

Parshas Vaeira

By last weeks Parsha I mentioned the situation in Israel, and tried to use a Posuk for comfort. But it had its complications. Now in this weeks Parsha I have a different posuk that brings a different approach. This approach is an active one, a way to be able to keep Israel with the things we do.

Something To Say:

And I shall give it you as a heritage (6:8).

The Hebrew term Morasha, heritage, appears twice in the Torah. It is first mentioned in this verse, in reference to the Land of Israel, and later in Deuteronomy 33:4, in connection with the giving of the Torah. The Torah that Moses gave us is a heritage, as stated in the expression Morasha Kehilas Yaakov, the heritage of the Congregation of Jacob. The term Morasha is used in two places to teach us that the heritage represented by the Land of Israel can remain ours only if we commit ourselves to keeping the mitzvos of the Torah.

So the trick is to keep the Mitzvos and then we will have the land of Israel. I know that sounds like easier said than done, but perhaps it can really work. If we think of it on an individual basis, of what can each of us do. If we look to improve ourselves, then it is possible.

Chinuch Habonim

In the previous post I said I enjoyed reading parenting and marriage books. So in the previous post I discussed marriage rules, and now I’ll copy over some parenting rules.

This is from a speech I went to by R' Brezak on August 8, 2006, it was a question answer kind of a shiur, but he asked all the questions that he had received previously and he had gotten answers to them from great gadolim. These are only some of them that I had remembered.

Q: My 13 year old by mezomin, he answers to himself and doesn't want to answer out loud, what should I do?

• you Can't embarrass the kid, there’s a story of child who was embarrassed by a Rebbi and it caused him to go off the derech for 20 years
• Mouthing is enough, 2 is enough
• Mezumin- Derabonin, embarrass- deoraisa

Q: My 3 year old turns on the lights on shabbos

• You only have to say something if the child could make the connection between turning off the lights and chilul shabbos.
• You Can't hit a child for chilul shabbos
• If you hit a child they'll just become immune to it, and then you will have to hit harder

Q: My 4 year old is stealing

• Don't punish him he probably doesn't know better, learn mussar with him
• Even the chofetz chaim at age 5 stole, but he didn't know better, once he knew then he returned the apple he stole
• Make them do chesed
• Make them Apologize to store owner every time they steal
• Sometimes children steal because there is an Emotional void and their not given enough love

Q: can I give my child a Pigi back ride, or will he lose respect for me?

• Have to respect the kid and then they'll respect you, if you control your emotions then the child will respect you, so yes, you can give piggy back rides and you won't lose respect from your child.

Q: Older brother picking on younger brother, he pulled out a chair from under his younger brother and caused him to fall, want to cancel the trip he is supposed to go on as a punishment

• Looking at symptom don't ignore the problem, he’s doing this for a reason, he is jealous of his younger brother, try to take walks with him or spend one on one time together
• Never cancel trip, its like for a child a toy boat sinking in bath tub is like a ship in ocean sinking for adult, it means the world to them

Q: child Spills cheerios and makes messes

• Have child come up with solution to punishment, he should clean it up
• But don't get angry at the child, make a serious face show that your not happy with him doing that, and if he doesn't get the attention he wanted he'll stop doing it

Q: child keeps Nagging afraid to give in cause then word doesn't mean anything

• Reevaluate the situation, consider what the child wants
  If wrong then its wrong and don't give in
• Nothing wrong with letting kids have candy, but don't give in to every tantrum a child has, have to be firm

Here are some points he mentioned:

• A story where a Father smacked his child very often, the child became chasidish cause he didn't want any association with his father
• Forcing your glasses on your child won't help, you can't force a child to see through your perspective.
• Can't use same methods as did in previous generation, because nowadays everybody wants everything now, have to use a different approach
• Child gets his self image from his father, if you don't show approval for them then they won't have self confidence.

10 minutes a Day to a Better Marriage

Ever since I was a child I enjoyed reading Marriage and parenting books. I guess as an outsider it’s easier and more enjoyable to read. So a couple of years ago, I came upon this book “10 Minutes a day to a better marriage” by Dr. Meir Wickler. I had an idea to start reading it and summarizing it. So I read one day’s worth and summarized it, but never got back to continue reading it. Then the other day Shorty reminded me of it, with a comment she made. So here’s what I have summarized so far. Perhaps I will continue reading it and summarize some more.

Rule #1- Do not exaggerate, like don't say you never do this or you always do this, cause then lets say the person does, then they'll dismiss your statement cause its not true, they did do it. Like if someone says you never take out the garbage and then that person feels that they did take out the garbage, they'll dismiss the statement.

And also not to use words like devastated, use upset or annoyed instead cause then if its a really big thing and you always use devastated the person won't know the difference.

Rule #2: Do not mind read. Don't say smugly "I know what you were thinking"

Rule #3- Use more "I" statements and less "you" statements cause when a person gets criticized they'll try to defend themselves instead of taking it in. If you say I would appreciate it more if... then their more likely to listen.

Rule #4- Do not generalize. Be specific and provide examples don't just say your not respecting me, give examples so they know what to correct.

Also about defending, when a person is talking don't try to defend yourself cause then the person will feel that your not validating their feelings and also, there’s a 24 hour rule, that one person could be the speaker at a time then the other person has to wait 24 hrs to speak but there’s active listening to do in the meantime.

Jewish Song Sunday --- #11

Daddy Dear

Daddy dear, tell me please
Is it true what they say
In the heavens there's a cup
That gets fuller each day
And I've heard that Hashem
keeps it close nearby
And He fills it with His tears
Each time that we cry

Grandpa told me, Daddy dear
Did he tell you the same
That when sorrow strikes His people
Hashem feels all the pain
Tell me why does He cry
Far away in the sky
Tell me why, Daddy dear
Are there tears in your eyes

Little one, little one
Is it true? Yes, it's true
Grandpa told me years ago
And his dad told him too
Fathers cry for their children
And Hashem does the same
When we hurt, so does He
Yes he feels our pain

Tears of pity from His eyes
In his cup sadly flow
Till one day when it's full
All out troubles will go
We will dance, we will fly
In the sky like the birds
And I cry, little one
'Cause I'm touched by your words

One more question, Daddy dear
Answer please, if you will
Just how deep is this cup
Tell me when will it fill
Don't you think it is time
that the sun forever shine
Don't you think it is time
Dear Daddy of mine

Little one, it is time
And I've questioned that too
So Let us ask Him together
Together me and you
Father dear, do You hear
Our worries, our fears
Will your eyes ever dry
Is your cup filled with tears

Parshas Shemos

So every blog is talking about the Gaza war in Israel, but whenever I see it in a blog I just skip over it. For some reason I just don’t have the interest in reading it. Same with news of all other major events. But yet I get the information by reading headlines, tweets, and status’s. I feel as though I really should have more interest in it, because I do care about what happens in Israel and to other Jews, I want them to be safe.

Something To Say:

But as much as they would afflict it, so it would increase and so it would spread out (1:12)

The Ohr HaChaim wonders why the pasuk uses the future tense here - “but as much as they would afflict”, rather than “but as much as they afflicted”. This indicates that the Jewish nation would be persecuted in the future, but that the outcome would be the same as in the verse: “So it would increase and so it would spread out”. The message is that regardless of who would afflict Israel, the persecution would never be devastating; in fact, the Jews would always emerge stronger than before.

So this is my contribution to posting about the Gaza war. A comforting post. In the end the Jews will win and come out stronger. Hashem takes care of it all, we will survive and succeed.

Parsha in the blogosphere:

Leora, last year discussed why Shemos is her daughter’s favorite Parsha, what “Ki Tov” means, and what the word “Suf” alludes to. This year she discusses Galus Mitzrayim and how the Parshas now shift from talking about individuals to talking about a group of people.

Shorty, discusses lessons on marriage we can learn from Parshas Shemos. How the woman took care of their husbands, and believed in Hashem by having children.

The Cool Jew, posts a video from G-Dcast on Parshas Shemos.

Yoni, Discusses Geula in Parshas Shemos, and how the Jews have to unite to bring Geula.

Return Cards

Before I graduated High School, I hadn’t realized the significance of a return card. Then I started hearing classmates talk about if they received return cards with the wedding invitation. I found out it meant that you would be invited for the whole thing, rather than just the dancing, or chupah.

So far 19 of them got married, and I have gotten a return card by almost all of them. I haven’t gone to all the weddings though. Now there are 4 engaged and I recently got two interesting invitations in the mail. These 2 weddings are a day apart. The first wedding’s invitation came with 2 pieces of typed up paper. Now I’ve got plenty of invitations with personal notes, and “can’t wait to dance with you!” But I’ve never gotten these types of messages before.

One Said:

Dear “Babysitter” Amush,

I would love to invite you to my entire wedding but due to monetary constraints I can only invite you for Simchas Chosson V’Kallah. Your presence would greatly enhance my Simcha.

Love, “Classmate”

The Second one said:

Before coming to my Yom HaChupa, I would like to take a moment to ask you for forgiveness for anything that I may have said to hurt you in any way. Please Say out loud you’re Mochel me and may Hashem bench you with much Brocha and Hatzlacha and may we continue to share in each other’s Simchos.

Love, “Classmate”

So at first I was thinking to myself, wow that is so thoughtful of her, to actually write that. I’ve never seen somebody express their true wish to have you there for the whole thing, and only money is standing in the way. And that she asked to be forgiven. I thought it was really special.

Then the “yetzer hora” got a hold of me, and I was thinking it was strange, that it’s obvious that because of money issues she wasn’t able to invite the whole grade, that there’s no reason to state it out. That it sort of makes you feel worse about it. Then I started thinking that maybe she sent the second note about forgiveness to makeup for not inviting me to the whole thing. As if it was done subtly in hope that you wouldn’t figure it out.

Then I got the next invitation, which did have a return card, but which also had a forgiveness note, this one was in Hebrew, but basically saying the same thing, so then I figured, wow, it really seems like a special thing. It’s an amazing concept that by a wedding day the Kallah and Chosson get forgiven of all their sins, so here they are acknowledging that, and doing something about it. I was impressed, I think more invitations should have that.

As a side point, I went to a friends vort a couple of weeks ago, and as soon as anyone came in she gave them a hug and took a picture with them. She’s a very mushy type, and she was talking to me about all kinds of stuff, memories that I couldn’t believe she remembered, and I was truly touched.

Then she showed me the flowers her Chosson bought her, and it had a note attached to it, that her Chosson wrote, it was a bracha to her, written in Hebrew. I was amazed by it, I’ve never seen such a thing before. Then I realized what a perfect fit they must be, cause she’s always giving Brachos and Mushy comments to everyone.

“Journeys” Performance

Motzei Shabbos I went to a performance by Zichron Shlomo Refuah Fund. I’ve gone for a couple of years to their Chinese auction, and they’ve had small shows each time. This year was the first time that they had the performance part as a whole separate part, on a different day than the auction. I have to say I was truly impressed with the performance, it was excellent, and I can’t wait to buy the DVD when it comes out so that I can watch it again.

The storyline was a touching one with great lessons to be learned from it, and at the same time entertaining and satisfying. There were 15 scenes with 10 dances, all amazing songs. Most of them were by Abie Rotenberg, and some I have never heard before. There were 3 parts that I really liked. I can really give a review on the whole performance, but that would be too much. So I’ll stick to three.

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The Yeshivish Reid
Now this one was excellent. It started off as a tehillim group of a whole bunch of Lakewood woman, and they kept using Yeshivish language. Then one of the woman just moved to Lakewood, so it starts off a song and dance about Yeshivish language. These woman all of a sudden have white shirts, ties and black hates and they start singing:

To originate a language a new way to talk and speak
Is a most imposing challenge, a monumental feat!
It takes a special talent, it’s not for the faint of heart
And most are doomed to failure, before they even start

But in the hallowed halls, of Yeshivos far and wide
Our young men have discovered a new way to verbalize
With Yiddish, English, Hebrew it’s a mixture of all three
And a dash of Aramaic a linguistic potpourri

Chorus:
Yeshivish Reid Yeshiveish Shprach
Take, Eppes Grad’e A Gevaltige Zach
Yeshiveishe Reid Yeshivish Shprach
It’s the talk of the Town Mamesh tog und Nacht

What’s the chidush/your just hocking
Mon afshoch, it’s not to klor
That’s gaonus, what and einfal! I can hear it shtelt zach for
It’s a shayla, what’s’ the raya? The whole sugya is gor shver
The peula may be here but the chalois is over there!

It’s descriptive and precise, poonkt the language to be used
If you want to shteig in learnin or just to chap a shmooze
Adaraba, it’s essenntial it’s chashivus is immense
Why without the Gemora, would lechoira make no sense!

Now listen close yeshiva wives, it’s the shtoty thing to do
Be Marbitz this great language to all our fellow jews
Let me offer you an aitza that will end this serenade
Why not print a dictionary that translates

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The next part I really liked was called “Never take kids to a store”. Where this Yeshivish Lakewood mother was having a hard time with her kids, and she tells over a story of how she took her kids to the store and how they wanted more and more, and she didn’t know what to do, and bought it all for them, then an hour after they came home they said their bored.

The song is really cute, but it would be very long if I type it all up. But the part I was impressed by was that when this mother was talking with her friends about how hard it is raising her kids. The friend suggested she try parenting classes, and they spoke about it, how it can be good, and it doesn’t show your a failure. I was really happy about this, cause it gave over a good message to the audience, maybe now more parents will actually go to parenting classes!

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The last part I really liked was the ending “Wedding Dance”. It was a truly amazing dance, choreographed really well and a great way to end the performance!

Jewish Song Sunday --- #10

MBD: Anachnu Maminim

In 8th grade my teacher taught us this song. She was very into it, and brought in the tape, and every day we would sing it before davening. Then that summer when I went to camp I saw that it was the hit song, every body was singing it. It’s a great catchy song, with an important message. As I scroll through my friends Facebook statuses, I keep seeing QassamCount statuses. It looks like the war in Israel is still going on. In these times we have to remember who is really in charge, we can only believe in Hashem to save us from it all.

Anachnu ma'aminim bnei ma'aminim
(We are believers, children of believers)

ve'ein lanu al mi lehisha'en
(And we are not whom to trust)

ela ela al avinu
(Except Our Father)

avinu shebashamaim
(Who is in heaven)

Yisrael, Yisrael betach b'HaShem
(Ysrael, Ysrael relies on HaShem)

ezram umeginam hu
(He is your help and your shield)

 

Parshas Vayechi

First I would like to thank Leora for her creative Parsha posts and her really nice comments, especially on last weeks Parsha post.

I’ve noticed in a lot of houses the father and or mother bench the children Friday night. By the boys they bench them to be like Menashe and Efraim, and by the girls, they bench them to be like the Eimahos. In my house my parents don’t bench us, but I think it’s a truly special thing, for parents to do.

Something to Say:

By you shall Israel bless, saying “May God make you like Ephraim and like Manasseh” (48:20).

Why did Jacob want his future descendants to bless their children with the example of Ephraim and Manasseh, of all the tribes? One explanation of the Sages is that Joseph’s two sons exemplified a fundamental principle of the Torah: There was no competition between them, and neither considered himself greater than his brother.

Although Jacob set Ephraim, the younger son, above Manasseh, the firstborn, Manasseh was not jealous and Ephraim did not become arrogant. Their perception of truth and of each other’s value was solid; pretensions and rivalry were far beneath them. Each had a deep and authentic respect for the other, and a feeling of happiness in the other’s success. Each performed his individual goal, harmonizing with his brother’s contribution to create a unique symphony of Divine Service.

Jacob, therefore, expressed the hope that all of his children in generations to come would behave as desirably. He created a tradition that this blessing would be given by Jewish parents to their children throughout history.

Now this explanation I have never heard before and I thought it was beautiful. What a befitting blessing for a parent to give children. Siblings who usually fight and don’t get along get this blessing to be like Menashe and Efraim and to have no competition or sibling Rivalry.

The Little Things

A little while ago I went to hear a shiur on the topic of the Halachos of “Little Things”. He started it off with a little story of one time when he was on the plane and a woman sitting next to him asked him if he was Jewish. He told her yes, and she then asked him to summarize Judiasm in one or two lines. So he told her that everything Jews do are governed by Godly laws. There’s even laws on how to button a shirt, how to tie shoes and how to go to sleep.

Previously I wondered about why boys and girls shirt buttons are different. So then he spoke about that and said that we are supposed to do everything right first. So same with buttons, it’s supposed to be right over left. I think that’s the way girls shirts are. So The Chazon Ish and Steipler would do over the buttons of their shirt so that it should be right over left. The reason why is because right stands for chesed and left for Din, so this way it’s asking for Hashem’s Chesed to come before His Din. Another Halacha he said about right over left that I didn’t know, is that we are supposed to wash our right body parts before our left.

Next Halacha that people forget about is that you can’t talk in the bathroom. Even though the bathrooms of today are different from back then the Halacha still applies. There are two exceptions though, one is if your just going in the bathroom to use the mirror or wash your hands then you can talk in there. The second way to be lenient is if the person didn’t relieve themselves yet and it’s a Tzaroch Gadol to talk, then he may talk.

The age of Chinuch starts at six, so for most Halachos you don’t try to teach your children it until six, no matter how smart and capable they are at a younger age. An exception to this is with Netilas Yadayim, that you are supposed to start with by young age children even under the age of 6. Some may even start with babies, just to wash their hands to get them used to it.

I forgot where this came in, but I remember he mentioned that if he were to try to write a chumra sefer it wouldn’t sell. It was a funny thing to hear, since I’m always hearing about people complaining about Chumras. So here you can be comforted that the Rabbi’s know people don’t like Chumras, so they won’t try to force it on you.

While I was by the shiur I noticed a few things. One is I saw some ladies doing needle pointing while they were recording the shiur with a tape recorder. It seemed as though they were relaxing to a shiur, an interesting idea. Next thing I noticed is that a lot of girls/woman there were wearing nebby clothes. I wondered why that was, is it because going to a shiur is considered a nebby thing? Why is it that the “good” people who want to improve their Yiddishkeit are looked down on as nebs, while the rule breakers are considered the “cool” ones?

Now the next topic was very new to me, it was about Atifas yeshmailim which I’ve never heard about before. It was on how to put on a Talis the right way. I’ve never seen the men davening Shachris, so I never got to see it. The shiur was set up so that the woman were up stairs and the men down stairs, so I still didn’t get to see how it’s done. But he explained it in a way that you just had to see it to understand. Although one part I remember is that the whole face is supposed to be covered except the slit of the eyes, and then it’s thrown over. This makes sense now, cause I remember seeing in a Pruz video, that a man was throwing his talis back and forth.

Another thing he demonstrated which I didn’t get to see was how to hold your hands by Davening. He said your never allowed to cross your hands a certain way, I asked my father afterwards to show me, and it’s like this:

Now, Shorty, this one is for you. Previously Shorty asked about how loud your supposed to Daven. So he spoke about that, and he said that the Zohar says you actually can’t hear yourself when you daven, that it has to be annunciated, that you said it, but it’s not allowed to be heard.

This next thing he said I was very impressed with and liked very much. He said one time there was a man mumbling in his daveneing, that you couldn’t understand what he was saying. So then it was told to R’ Levi Yitzchak who tried to make a Limud Zechus for him. He said that the man mumbling sounds like baby talk which we can’t understand. But Just like a parent understands their child’s baby talk. Hashem is our father, he understands the man’s “baby talk”. I thought that was beautiful.

He spoke about Modim, how you are supposed to bend down. He said he noticed that by girls they tend to do it wrong, that they bend their knees first, that really your supposed to just bend straight down.

A DMC with A Strange Married Woman

I just had a random chat conversation today with a girl I don’t know that I have once chatted with before months ago. It sounded so strange to me. I’m not married so I wouldn’t know, but it doesn’t sound like she has a happy Marriage. Since I already posted one aim conversation, I think I got addicted to posting chat conversations, they are just so strange. (But don’t worry bloggers, I won’t post any conversation with you)

“Married Woman”: hey
“Babysitter”: hey long time no speak
“Married Woman”: i know
how are u?
“Babysitter”: I'm good, you?
“Married Woman”: u there
“Babysitter”: yea
“Married Woman”: so what have u been up to
”Babysitter”: not much, on vacation from school now. what about you?
“Married Woman”: same old
did u go anywhere
”Babysitter”: nope, didn't go anywhere. taking it easy
how was chanukah?
“Married Woman”: bh it was nice
ures
”Babysitter”: that’s good, ours was nice too, had a bunch of chanukah parties
“Married Woman”: nice
met any hot guys so u can make me jealous
lol
”Babysitter”: lol, nope, not yet. How's your husband doing?
“Married Woman”: he’s good
y not
”Babysitter”: that’s good
I've gone out on dates. But none successful yet
“Married Woman”: were they shidduch dates
”Babysitter”: yea
“Married Woman”: nice
did any of them ever look like they wanted to pounce u
i had a couple of those
lol
”Babysitter”: lol, nope, none of those
they were good guys
“Married Woman”: oh darn
lol
jk
”Babysitter”: lol, did u enjoy dating?
“Married Woman”: i loved it
but i also wasn’t shomer so its dif
”Babysitter”: ahh I see
“Married Woman”: ure shomer right
”Babysitter”: yea
when did you stop becoming shomer?
“Married Woman”: i dont know how u do it
in high school
”Babysitter”: aha, so you had a boy friend back then?
I went to a very frum HS so I never talked to boys
“Married Woman”: which one
yeah
”Babysitter”: ******
“Married Woman”: oh i c
so u never did anything with a guy
”Babysitter”: right
“Married Woman”: u never wanted to growing up
”Babysitter”: well I knew I wasn't allowed to, so it was out of the question
“Married Woman”: wow that’s a lot of control
but u wanted to
did u ever check out the guys
”Babysitter”: nope
“Married Woman”: y not
”Babysitter”: cause it wasn't allowed?
“Married Woman”: gotcha
so if no one wud find out wud u be not shomer now
”Babysitter”: nope, cause then I wouldn't be true to myself. Hashem is watching
“Married Woman”: i c
do u feel like u wish u wud have wen u were younger
”Babysitter”: nope, I'm happy with staying Shomer
do u wish u wouldn't have?
“Married Woman”: honestly, no
but it wud have been easier on me now if i was though
”Babysitter”: how come?
I mean in what way would it have been easier?
“Married Woman”: bc now that i was very active before wen i dont have it nowe i get very u know
”Babysitter”: aha I see
“Married Woman”: yup
i go nuts
”Babysitter”: I thought if you ask your husband he has to say yes
“Married Woman”: u cant really ask
and that doesnt help wen ure in niddah
”Babysitter”: aha, well how long is that? 2 weeks?
“Married Woman”: yeah
but wayyy too long for me
i dont know how u do it
”Babysitter”: well I never did it, so I dunno what I'm missing out on
but I would assume the niddah time can be precious too
there are marriage counseling books that talk about this stuff, and how it can build your relationship
“Married Woman”: i know but its not like a problem its just i get very horny
u never get horny
”Babysitter”: well aren't there stuff you can do to help that?
“Married Woman”: like wat
hold on i got to get the phone
”Babysitter”: ok

Now I don’t know about you, but this conversation seemed strange to me. I didn’t know people ask such weird questions like that to strangers. I don’t mean for this to be an untznius post or anything.

Jewish Song Sunday --- #9

Ari Rosner: Aleh Katan

If you noticed on the side of my blog I asked this question:

“If an artist e-mailed me one of their songs that they said will be on a CD in the future, and it’s at least a year or two later, and I’m not sure if it appeared on a CD yet. Am I allowed to post the song up?”

Most people answered to ask a Rabbi. I’m impressed! Well I decided to take the lazy way out and put up a different song of his that is more well known. So I googled his name. But then as I googled I found this site, which led me to here. Where I realized that the song up was the exact same song he gave me, so I figured I am now permitted to share it. It’s a great song, I love the Israeli accent, and he’s a cute kid. Although he’s probably gotten older, I still remember him as the cute kid from the Miami videos.

A DMC with My Cousin

First I have to give a little intro. What I’m about to share is from December 27, 2006. So that’s over 2 years ago. I have changed a lot since then thanks to life experiences. I no longer feel the same way about some of the issues being discussed. Maybe I’ll do a part 2 with an update on this. Also, Keep in mind this is from AIM. I’m not sure if I should even share this, but here goes.

"My cousin" (2:48:05 PM): hello
"My cousin" (2:48:09 PM): how are you doing?
“Babysitter” (2:48:20 PM): hey, I'm B"H good, u?
*************************************************************************************
"My cousin" (3:57:48 PM): he's right about you talking to too many guys
"My cousin" (3:57:52 PM): no offense
"My cousin" (3:58:21 PM): but if I were a boy I wouldn't be interested in a girl that talks to guys
"My cousin" (3:59:04 PM): if a boy is thinking of getting married - why wouldn't he want a wife that has eyes only for him
"My cousin" (3:59:09 PM): and the same for the girl
"My cousin" (3:59:32 PM): why would he want his wife to be talking to other boys
"My cousin" (3:59:45 PM): I would never want to marry a guy that talks to many girls
"My cousin" (3:59:48 PM): would you?
“Babysitter” (4:00:21 PM): yea, I know, I was thinking that maybe I'm a hypocrite, cause I would be jealous if he talked to a lot of girls
“Babysitter” (4:00:34 PM): I forgot what I was gonna say'
"My cousin" (4:01:01 PM): I hope you remember
"My cousin" (4:01:12 PM): not just jealous
"My cousin" (4:01:19 PM): something much deeper
"My cousin" (4:01:32 PM): if a boy doesn't talk to other girls
"My cousin" (4:01:44 PM): he only knows his wife
"My cousin" (4:01:50 PM): is only attracted to his wife
“Babysitter” (4:01:43 PM): but in away it could be that if he picks me out of all, or I pick him out of all then it makes it more special, no?
"My cousin" (4:02:02 PM): not really
"My cousin" (4:02:19 PM): everyone knows that there are many other boys/girls in the world
"My cousin" (4:02:44 PM): and every time two people decide to get married they are picking each other out from everyone else
"My cousin" (4:03:40 PM): but when a boy/girl knows many girls/boys then he/she loses the specialness of the girl/boy they decide to marry
"My cousin" (4:03:54 PM): instead of only thinking about their spouse
"My cousin" (4:04:06 PM): now they s/t also think about the other girl/boy they know
"My cousin" (4:04:21 PM): sometimes they compare their spouse the other people they know
"My cousin" (4:04:48 PM): and there will always be some aspects that they liked better in a different person other than their spouse
"My cousin" (4:05:18 PM): this is a problem even when people go on many shidduch dates
“Babysitter” (4:05:23 PM): interesting point, but I once heard every shiduch date has a purpose
"My cousin" (4:05:33 PM): kal vachomer on this type of personal level
"My cousin" (4:05:40 PM): people say that
"My cousin" (4:06:01 PM): I don't know what they base it on
"My cousin" (4:06:06 PM): but I can tell you one thing
"My cousin" (4:06:42 PM): Every person has free will and they can do what they want and there are definitely people that are not proper to go out with
"My cousin" (4:06:54 PM): and if someone goes out with such a person
"My cousin" (4:07:04 PM): even though they know it is wrong
"My cousin" (4:07:20 PM): no one could say that it had a good purpose
"My cousin" (4:07:26 PM): it's called bechirah
“Babysitter” (4:07:51 PM): so then people should only go out with people they know are for sure someone they would marry?
“Babysitter” (4:07:55 PM): right?
"My cousin" (4:08:17 PM): well - someone there is a good chance they would marry
"My cousin" (4:08:22 PM): it's impossible to know for sure
"My cousin" (4:08:25 PM): before they meet
“Babysitter” (4:08:23 PM): right, ok, that's true
“Babysitter” (4:08:37 PM): but also, like what kind of things could be given up?
“Babysitter” (4:08:42 PM): like to compromise on?
"My cousin" (4:09:03 PM): things that don't matter so much
"My cousin" (4:09:11 PM): it depends on what's important
"My cousin" (4:09:14 PM): to you
“Babysitter” (4:09:10 PM): ok, I see
“Babysitter” (4:09:15 PM): and also, do parents have a say?
“Babysitter” (4:09:22 PM): or its all my choice?
"My cousin" (4:09:52 PM): your parents cannot halachically stop you from marrying the person you want to marry
"My cousin" (4:10:09 PM): it's one thing you don't have to listen to your parents for
"My cousin" (4:10:30 PM): (although you should try your best to do it as respectfully as possible)
“Babysitter” (4:10:33 PM): but what if I have a feeling my father wouldn't let me go out with someone?
“Babysitter” (4:10:46 PM): and I'm not sure if I would or not
“Babysitter” (4:10:54 PM): its hard to explain
"My cousin" (4:11:07 PM): try
“Babysitter” (4:11:50 PM): what if I think my parents wouldn't approve of someone, but maybe I don't even know that person enough to know if they would or wouldn't, but if I would want to I should?
"My cousin" (4:12:37 PM): you should find out more about the person
"My cousin" (4:12:51 PM): I'm scared to ask how you know the person in the first place
“Babysitter” (4:12:46 PM): lol
"My cousin" (4:13:02 PM): “Babysitter”, what's wrong with normal shiduchim?
“Babysitter” (4:12:58 PM): lol
“Babysitter” (4:13:00 PM): well
“Babysitter” (4:13:15 PM): I feel like I have to first get to know the person, online its much easier
“Babysitter” (4:13:20 PM): I wouldn't be able to talk in person
“Babysitter” (4:13:33 PM): so this way I get to know what their like
"My cousin" (4:14:11 PM): “Babysitter”, this is one thing the people are right about - you don't get to really know someone online
"My cousin" (4:14:29 PM): and that's the same reason I believe you find it easier to talk online
"My cousin" (4:14:56 PM): Anyways “Babysitter” sometimes you just have to trust people that know what they're talking about
"My cousin" (4:15:24 PM): when the gedolim and mechanchim say it's a bad idea - they are basing it on real experiences of many people
"My cousin" (4:15:29 PM): they know what they are saying
"My cousin" (4:15:31 PM): you
"My cousin" (4:15:35 PM): on the other hand
"My cousin" (4:15:41 PM): have negius
"My cousin" (4:15:46 PM): you want to do it
"My cousin" (4:15:56 PM): so it's hard for you to see the problem with it
“Babysitter” (4:15:58 PM): yea, I understand
"My cousin" (4:16:38 PM): when someone talks to you online they are hiding behind the computer
"My cousin" (4:16:55 PM): the only thing you know is what they type on their keyboard
"My cousin" (4:17:03 PM): you don't even see them
"My cousin" (4:17:23 PM): they could even be a girl pretending to be a boy and you would never know
"My cousin" (4:17:26 PM): anyways
"My cousin" (4:17:40 PM): even in person it's hard to get to know the real person
"My cousin" (4:17:49 PM): that's why people do research
“Babysitter” (4:17:53 PM): yea, true, ok
“Babysitter” (4:18:34 PM): I guess I'm just nervous that in person no one will like me
“Babysitter” (4:18:42 PM): but I know I shouldn't think that
“Babysitter” (4:18:45 PM): so forget
"My cousin" (4:19:30 PM): why should people like you better online?
“Babysitter” (4:19:34 PM): cause I feel like I could be myself
“Babysitter” (4:19:40 PM): not afraid to talk
“Babysitter” (4:19:44 PM): cause its typing
“Babysitter” (4:19:49 PM): and I like typing
“Babysitter” (4:19:56 PM): and I cold edit my words
“Babysitter” (4:20:02 PM): could
"My cousin" (4:20:18 PM): why do you need to edit your words
"My cousin" (4:20:18 PM): ?
“Babysitter” (4:20:20 PM): while I'm thinking what to say
“Babysitter” (4:20:29 PM): if I change my mind
“Babysitter” (4:20:34 PM): I don't know
"My cousin" (4:20:55 PM): it's something to think about
"My cousin" (4:20:58 PM): for real
"My cousin" (4:21:15 PM): it's very important to really get to know yourself well
"My cousin" (4:21:23 PM): before you date
"My cousin" (4:21:45 PM): also if you get to know yourself better you'll know more what you want
“Babysitter” (4:21:59 PM): right, but that's hard, cause I always want to do what other people want me to do, so its hard to know what I want for myself
“Babysitter” (4:22:16 PM): I just want to do what's right
“Babysitter” (4:22:23 PM): and everyone has diff opinions of what's right
"My cousin" (4:22:37 PM): you have to be very honest and ask yourself questions and
"My cousin" (4:22:45 PM): answer them honestly
"My cousin" (4:22:59 PM): why do you want to do what other people want you to do
"My cousin" (4:23:00 PM): ?
“Babysitter” (4:23:03 PM): cause that's my nature
"My cousin" (4:23:24 PM): who are you trusting to make decisions for you?
"My cousin" (4:23:30 PM): who said that's your nature
"My cousin" (4:23:41 PM): every person is responsible for their actions
"My cousin" (4:23:44 PM): no one can say
"My cousin" (4:23:54 PM): well so and so wanted me to do it
“Babysitter” (4:23:53 PM): right ok
"My cousin" (4:24:35 PM): also, aren't there things that you want to do without anyone telling you?
“Babysitter” (4:24:40 PM): but usually other people know what's right
"My cousin" (4:24:58 PM): WHO SAID
"My cousin" (4:25:04 PM): I DON'T THINK SO
"My cousin" (4:25:13 PM): NOT JUST ANY JO SCHMO
“Babysitter” (4:25:10 PM): I'm talking about my parents
“Babysitter” (4:25:14 PM): and teachers
“Babysitter” (4:25:17 PM): and stuff like that
"My cousin" (4:25:34 PM): well it depends who
"My cousin" (4:25:38 PM): it's your life
“Babysitter” (4:25:42 PM): see I've heard that 100 times
"My cousin" (4:25:53 PM): so you want to make sure that you are only trusting trustworthy people
“Babysitter” (4:25:51 PM): ok
“Babysitter” (4:25:57 PM): so there are some that I trust
“Babysitter” (4:26:01 PM): and admire
"My cousin" (4:26:26 PM): and they want you to do things that you don't want to do
"My cousin" (4:26:27 PM): ?
“Babysitter” (4:26:22 PM): no
"My cousin" (4:26:38 PM): I have to daven I'll be back soon
“Babysitter” (4:26:34 PM): ok, ttyl
“Babysitter” (4:26:39 PM): or a diff day

If your still reading, there was a part 2 to this. But that went on a completely different topic.

Parshas Vayigash

For this weeks Parsha I was going to finally use the sefer my great grandfather wrote. There was just a little problem it was all in Hebrew. I figured I would try to see if I can read through the Hebrew, but it was too much for me. Maybe I’ll ask my father during the week to help me read through it, so that I can learn something from it.

I actually already wrote a Parsha post earlier this week in my Meme post, but I didn’t get to write the whole thing. So here it is:

Something To Say:

It will happen that when [Jacob] sees that the youth [Benjamin] is missing he will die (44:31).

In this parshah, Judah confronts Joseph, the viceroy of Egypth, who is unrecognized by his brothers, about the impending captivity of Benjamin the youngest.

R’ Menachem Mendel of Kotzk asks: Why did Judah worry only about Jacob’s distress? What about Benjamin’s wife and 10 children – why was Judah not worried that they, too would die because of their pain? The Kotzker explains that we learn from this verse that a child does not experience suffering for a parent to the extent that a parent suffers for a child’s pain.

I’ve never heard this before, and it was completely new to me. After reading this I thought to myself, that it makes sense for it to be like that, cause normally parents die first, and that’s why it’s so cruel when Natzi’s threatened to kill the parents children in front of the parent’s eyes.

Leora talks about Serach in her Parsha post, about how she relayed over the news that Yosef is still alive to Yaakov in gentle manner by saying it in a rhyme or with a harp. It reminded me of Parshas Vayishlach where the opposite happened and Timna was rejected in a not nice way.